Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear, but you should correct grammar (verb forms), avoid filler phrases like “to be honest,” and add one specific supporting detail to make it more vivid. Keep responses concise (max 5 sentences) and use a linking word when adding the detail (e.g., “therefore,” “so,” or “because”).

例: I didn’t have many opportunities to try new activities as a child because my secondary school didn’t offer extracurricular clubs. Therefore, I usually stayed at home and focused on homework, although I once joined a weekend art class for a few months which I enjoyed.

提案: Good direct response and contrasting view. Improve accuracy (use correct verbs and words: ‘prefer’ not ‘refer’), add a brief reason or example for each side using a linking word (e.g., ‘for example,’ ‘however’), and avoid short fragmented sentences—combine them for coherence.

例: It depends on the person. Some people prefer to try many things because variety keeps life exciting and helps them learn new skills; however, others prefer stability and security because it allows them to concentrate on long-term goals, for example, building a career.

× Well, to be honest, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities when I was a child because my secondary school didn't offer extracurricular clubs. As a result, I usually stayed at home and focus on doing homework.

✓ Well, to be honest, I didn't have many opportunities to try new activities when I was a child because my secondary school didn't offer extracurricular clubs. As a result, I usually stayed at home and focused on doing homework.

The sentence shifts between past tense ('didn't have', 'didn't offer', 'stayed') and present tense ('focus'). Maintain consistent past tense for actions that occurred in the past. Change 'focus' to 'focused' to match past tense. Suggestion: when describing past events, keep all verbs in past tense unless there is a reason to use a different tense.

× Personally, it depends on the person. Some people like to try many different things because they enjoy variety and new experiences, while others refer stability and security because it helps them feel safe and focus.

✓ Personally, it depends on the person. Some people like to try many different things because they enjoy variety and new experiences, while others prefer stability and security because it helps them feel safe and focused.

Two issues: 'refer' is the wrong verb form; the correct verb is 'prefer' (preference). Also 'focus' is present tense while the rest of the sentence uses general present (habitual) so 'focused' as an adjective is needed to describe how 'it helps them feel'. Use 'prefer' and 'focused' to correct word choice and form. Suggestion: use 'prefer' for expressing preference and use 'focused' when describing a resulting state ('feel focused').