Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question (e.g., “Yes, I had many opportunities…”). Correct grammar (tense and articles), remove repetition, and use one or two specific supporting details with a linking word. Keep it under 5 sentences.

例: Yes — I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child because I lived near lakes in the United States. For example, there were no strict age restrictions for jet-skiing, so children in my neighborhood often learned to ride on calm afternoons. This helped me become more confident with outdoor sports and water safety.

提案: Make the response more structured: give a direct opinion first (e.g., “I think both yes and no”), then use linking words to contrast reasons (e.g., “however,” “on the other hand”). Correct unfinished sentences and add a concise concluding statement. Provide one concrete example to illustrate your point.

例: I think both yes and no. Trying different activities broadens your perspective and helps you discover new interests. However, if you try too many things without sticking with any, you may miss the chance to develop real skills or expertise. For example, sampling many sports taught me what I enjoyed most, but committing to one sport later improved my abilities significantly.

× So there were there weren't any permits or license to to let you drive a jet ski.

✓ So there weren't any permits or licenses to let you drive a jet ski.

The original has redundant and contradictory 'there were there weren't' and a pluralization error. Use a single negative 'there weren't' for correct meaning. Also 'license' should be plural 'licenses' to match 'any' and general countability when referring to permits in general. Remove the duplicated 'to'. Suggestion: say 'So there weren't any permits or licenses to let you drive a jet ski.'

× So any child can drive a jet ski in a lake.

✓ So any child could drive a jet ski on a lake.

Tense and preposition need adjustment: the context is past, so 'can' should be 'could' (past ability). Also 'in a lake' is unnatural for driving a jet ski; use 'on a lake'. This fixes number agreement and appropriate verb tense for the context.

× Both yes and no because trying different activities lets you expand your perspective and experience and have a new view on things, but doing just a lot of things, but not pursuing the depth of the experience

✓ Both yes and no. Trying different activities lets you expand your perspective and experience and gain a new view on things, but doing many things without pursuing depth is less beneficial.

Original sentence is run-on and structurally incomplete, with repeated 'but' and an unfinished clause. Break into two sentences. Replace 'have a new view on things' with 'gain a new view on things' for smoother collocation. 'Just a lot of things' should be 'many things' and 'but not pursuing the depth of the experience' should be rephrased to 'without pursuing depth' to complete the contrast clearly.

× Yes, I was a child, I was living in the United States.

✓ Yes. When I was a child, I was living in the United States.

The original punctuation makes the clause awkward. Add 'When' to indicate time and separate clauses with a period or comma for clarity. The tense 'was living' is acceptable to indicate past continuous, but adding 'When' clarifies that the speaker is referring to their childhood period.