Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition ('yeah, I do / I did have or had') and finish the thought. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood.

例: Yes. I had several opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I entered a drawing competition at school, which I found very interesting because it encouraged my creativity and helped me improve my sketching skills. As a result, I kept practising art in my free time.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and finish the supporting detail with a specific example and linking words. Use clearer grammar (e.g. 'foster personality' → 'help develop personality') and avoid unfinished sentences. Limit your answer to up to five sentences and include a concise reason and an example or result.

例: Yes, I agree that people should try many different things because it helps develop their personality and discover new interests. For instance, taking up a new hobby like photography can build creativity and confidence. Consequently, trying various activities makes it easier to find a career or pastime you truly enjoy.

× Yeah, I do So yeah I did have or had opportunity to take part in new activities in my young age that was the drawing competition and I participated in that competition. I found it was very interesting because it is based

✓ Yes. I did have opportunities to take part in new activities when I was young. One was a drawing competition, and I participated in it. I found it very interesting because it was based on creativity.

Issues: mixed present and past tense 'do' with 'did', awkward phrasing 'or had opportunity', incorrect time expression 'in my young age', run-on sentence. Correction uses past tense consistently for childhood events, plural 'opportunities' for generality, natural time phrase 'when I was young', splits into clearer sentences, and changes 'it is based' to past 'it was based' to match past context. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent (use past for past events), use natural time expressions, and split long sentences into shorter ones for clarity.

× Yes, I support the statement people should try many different things because it helps to foster personality already develop the skills to discover what they enjoy.

✓ Yes, I support the statement. People should try many different things because it helps to foster their personalities and develop skills to discover what they enjoy.

Issues: missing possessive 'their' before 'personalities', awkward 'already develop' likely intended 'and develop', noun form 'personality' should be plural when referring to people generally. Correction adds 'their' and connects ideas with 'and develop' to make parallel structure. Suggestion: use possessive determiners for general groups (their), keep parallel verb forms, and match singular/plural forms appropriately.

× For instance, trying a new hobby or any new job can be

✓ For instance, trying a new hobby or starting a new job can help you learn new skills and find enjoyment.

Issue: sentence fragment ending with 'can be' leaving thought incomplete. Correction completes the idea by specifying possible outcomes. Suggestion: ensure sentences express a complete idea; if using 'can be', follow with a complement (e.g., 'can be rewarding' or 'can help you...').