Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, but you can improve by making the response more concise, using a stronger topic sentence, and adding one specific detail to make it more vivid. Also correct small language slips: say "busy with their business" or "busy running their business." Limit to about 3–4 sentences and use a linking word when adding the extra detail.

例: Not really. I didn't have many chances to join clubs because my parents were busy running their business, so I mostly played with friends near my home. However, I did learn social skills from those playtimes, such as sharing and teamwork, which helped me later at school.

提案: Good structure and clear opinion. To improve, make the language more natural and compact: use stronger linking phrases, avoid repetition (e.g., "I think" twice), and give a specific example of a skill gained. Use a variety of vocabulary (e.g., "discover strengths and weaknesses," "interpersonal skills"). Keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, definitely. Trying different activities helps people discover their strengths and weaknesses and broaden their interests. For example, joining a debating club can improve public speaking and critical thinking, while volunteering can boost interpersonal skills and confidence.

× I didn't have many opportunities to enroll in extra classes or clubs because when I was a kid my parents were very busy on their business.

✓ I didn't have many opportunities to enroll in extra classes or clubs because when I was a kid my parents were very busy with their business.

The correct preposition with 'busy' in this context is 'with', not 'on'. Use 'busy with' to indicate being occupied by an activity or work. Suggestion: say 'busy with their work' or 'busy with their jobs' for more natural English.

× So most of the time I played with my friends nearby my home.

✓ So most of the time I played with my friends near my home.

Use 'near' rather than 'nearby' before a noun phrase in this context. 'Nearby' is an adjective or adverb often used alone (e.g., 'friends nearby') or before a noun as a compound (less common). Suggestion: use 'near my home' or 'nearby my home' -> better 'near my home'.

× The main reason is that I think it's a good way for people to understand and know more about themselves, for example where they are good at or where they are not.

✓ The main reason is that I think it's a good way for people to understand and learn more about themselves, for example what they are good at or what they are not.

After 'where' is used for place; here we need to refer to abilities, so use 'what they are good at'. Also 'know' followed by 'more about' is awkward; 'learn more about' is more natural. Use 'what' rather than 'where' when referring to skills. Suggestion: replace 'understand and know' with 'understand and learn' and use 'what they are good at'.

× And also it can help them to develop their personal skills such as communication.

✓ And it can also help them develop personal skills such as communication.

Word order 'and also' is acceptable but 'and it can also' flows better. Also remove 'to' after 'help' when followed by a verb (help them develop). 'Personal skills such as communication' is fine; consider 'communication skills' for clarity. Suggestion: 'help them develop personal skills, such as communication skills.'