Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변은 직접적이고 자연스럽지만 반복과 모호한 표현이 있습니다. 문장을 더 구체적으로 하고 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 개선하세요. 예를 들어 활동의 종류를 하나 또는 두 개 언급하고 왜 그것이 좋았는지 구체적인 이유(기술, 사회성, 추억 등)를 덧붙이세요. 또한 문장 수는 3~4문장으로 유지하되 중복 표현(‘helps me spend time with my friends’, ‘a good way to have fun’)을 통합하세요.

例: Yes, I did. As a child I joined activities like school football and drama club, which let me spend time with friends and develop teamwork skills. Because of these clubs, I became more confident speaking in public and made lasting friendships.

提案: 답변은 긍정적이지만 문법 오류와 반복, 불완전한 문장이 있습니다. 주장(should try)을 명확한 이유와 구체적인 예로 뒷받침하세요. 연결어(for example, because, so)를 사용해 논리적 흐름을 만들고, 주어·동사 일치와 어휘 선택을 정확히 하세요 (예: 'learn new activities' 반복 대신 'gain skills' 등).

例: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because it helps them discover new interests and develop useful skills. For example, learning to play an instrument can improve concentration, while joining a sports team teaches cooperation and discipline.

× I usually took part in different activities at school because it helps me spend time with my friends.

✓ I usually took part in different activities at school because they helped me spend time with my friends.

The student mixes past ('took') with present tense ('helps'), causing a tense inconsistency. Replace 'helps' with 'helped' to match the past context. Also use 'they' to refer back to 'activities' (plural). Suggestion: keep tense consistent within the sentence by using past tense when referring to past habits.

× It's a good way to have fun.

✓ It was a good way to have fun.

The context describes past experiences, so the verb should be past tense ('was') instead of present ('is'). Change to past tense to match the previous sentence ('I usually took part').

× Yes, I think they should.

✓ Yes, I think they should try them.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but lacks clarity. Adding 'try them' specifies what 'should' refers to (different things/activities). This improves sentence completeness and coherence.

× It's a good idea too learn new activities because it helps people to learn new activities.

✓ It's a good idea to learn new activities because it helps people learn new skills and broaden their experiences.

There is a typo 'too' instead of 'to' and repetitive phrasing ('learn new activities' twice). Also tense should be present general truth ('helps'). Improve by fixing 'to', removing repetition, and clarifying what 'learn new activities' accomplishes. Use plural noun 'skills' and concise structure.

× I think it makes the people.

✓ I think it benefits people.

The original is unfinished and unidiomatic ('makes the people' is unclear). Replace with a concise verb-object phrase 'benefits people' to express the intended meaning. Ensure sentence completeness and clarity.