Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần cải thiện tính mạch lạc và ngữ pháp cơ bản. Trả lời nên bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, ví dụ nêu là có/không và mô tả thời gian hoặc hoàn cảnh. Sử dụng cấu trúc ngắn gọn (1–3 câu) và tránh lặp từ như “uh” bằng cách nghĩ trước vài từ. Bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: loại hoạt động, độ tuổi, lợi ích rõ ràng) và dùng liên từ đơn giản (e.g., “because”, “so”, “and”) để kết nối ý. Ngoài ra chỉnh ngữ pháp: “I had many opportunities” thay cho “I have many opportunities”, và “to participate in new activities” thay cho “take part in the new activity at a time”.

例: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I joined dance classes and school clubs, which helped me become more confident when interacting with groups because I practiced speaking and performing in front of others.

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp và diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, ví dụ “Yes, I think people should try many different things.” Giải thích lý do bằng 1–2 câu hỗ trợ, dùng liên từ như “because” hoặc “so that”, và tránh lỗi cấu trúc như “it is really need to for them.” Thêm ví dụ cụ thể hoặc lợi ích thực tế (kỹ năng, khám phá sở thích) sẽ làm câu trả lời thuyết phục hơn.

例: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible because it helps them discover new interests and develop useful skills. For instance, learning a new sport or hobby can improve health and social confidence.

× Yes uh, I have many opportunities when I take part in the new activity at a time such as I can uh, more uh, confident when I collocate with many people, I can uh. Oh.

✓ Yes. I had many opportunities when I took part in new activities. For example, I became more confident when I interacted with many people.

Errors: 'have' should be past tense 'had' to match the time frame ('as a child'); 'take' should be past tense 'took'; 'the new activity' incorrectly uses the definite article and singular — use plural 'new activities' or no article; 'at a time' is unclear and unnecessary; 'more confident' should be used with a verb like 'became' rather than alone; 'collocate' is incorrect in this context — use 'interact' or 'communicate'. Suggestions: ensure verb tenses match the time reference (use past for childhood), remove unnecessary articles or use plural for general activities, use verbs that fit the meaning (became, interacted), and simplify the sentence into clear clauses.

× Yes, I think it is really need to for them.

✓ Yes, I think it is really necessary for them to try as many different things as they can.

Errors: 'it is really need to for them' is ungrammatical. 'Need' as a noun requires 'necessary' or use the modal 'need' with correct structure ('they need to'). Also word order is wrong. Suggestions: Use 'necessary' with 'it is' ('it is really necessary for them to...') or use 'they need to...'; ensure complete clause after 'for them'.