Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I had the chance to try new activities as a child.”), then give one or two specific supporting details: when it happened, who encouraged you, what activity it was, and whether you still do it. Use correct verb forms and avoid unnecessary fillers. Link ideas with simple connectors (for example, “so” or “and”).

例: Yes, I had the chance to try new activities as a child. When I was in elementary school, my mother encouraged me to take swimming lessons, and I enjoyed them a lot. As a result, I still swim every week because it keeps me fit and relaxed.

提案: Answer directly, then give two clear reasons with linking words and specific examples. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement, plural/singular) and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “broaden their horizons,” “discover new abilities”). Complete the sentence and avoid trailing off. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I think people should try many different things when they can. Firstly, new experiences broaden their horizons and help them see different cultures and ideas. Secondly, trying different activities can reveal talents they didn’t know they had, such as a knack for photography or public speaking.

× Yes, when I was in I think that was in elementary school my mum asked me if I want to learning and I accepted this idea so I still love swimming by now and enjoys doing it like every week.

✓ Yes. When I was in elementary school, my mum asked me if I wanted to learn, and I accepted. I still love swimming now and enjoy doing it almost every week.

Multiple sentence-structure problems: missing words, incorrect verb forms, tense inconsistency, subject-verb agreement, and awkward phrasing. Corrections: add a period and commas to break run-on sentence; remove the repeated phrase 'I think that was in'; change 'if I want to learning' to 'if I wanted to learn' (reported past-tense question requires past tense 'wanted' and base verb 'learn'); change 'I accepted this idea' to the simpler 'I accepted' or 'I agreed'; change 'by now' to 'now' for natural present reference; change 'enjoys' to 'enjoy' to agree with the subject 'I'; 'like every week' -> 'almost every week' for natural adverbial phrase. Suggestion: break long sentences, keep consistent tense when recounting past events, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use base verbs after modal/ask in past contexts.

× Yes, I believe when energy and financial status allows, people should always try to explore as many things as possible because new experience can broaden the horizon and maybe even disclose new ability of the

✓ Yes, I believe when energy levels and financial status allow, people should always try to explore as many things as possible because new experiences can broaden their horizons and maybe even reveal new abilities.

Errors: subject-verb agreement with modal/time clause and noun-number issues. Change 'energy and financial status allows' to 'energy levels and financial status allow' because plural subject (energy levels and financial status treated jointly) requires plural verb 'allow'. 'New experience' should be plural 'new experiences' to match 'as many things as possible' and general meaning. 'Broaden the horizon' is idiomatically 'broaden their horizons' to match people. 'Disclose new ability' is unnatural; use 'reveal new abilities'. Also add possessive 'their' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with compound subjects, use plural nouns for general statements, and choose idiomatic phrases.