Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Mejorar la claridad y la gramática; usar oraciones completas y conectar ideas con palabras de enlace. Específicamente: (1) Corrige tiempos verbales (usa pasado: "I had"), (2) estructura una oración principal seguida de detalles de apoyo, (3) evita fragmentos inconclusos y ofrece ejemplos concretos, y (4) usa conectores como "for example", "also" o "such as" para coherencia.

例: Yes, I did. I had opportunities at school to take part in after-school activities. For example, we had extra lessons in subjects like theatre and music, and there were also clubs for sports and art. These activities helped me explore new interests and build confidence.

提案: Mejorar la precisión gramatical y la organización de ideas; use oraciones limpias y conectores para justificar la opinión. Específicamente: (1) corrige errores como "that find" → "they find" y "attracts itself" → "attracts them", (2) ofrece razones claras y específicas, (3) utiliza conectores como "because", "for example" y "therefore" para mayor coherencia, (4) mantén la respuesta dentro de 3–4 oraciones.

例: Yes, I think people should try activities they find interesting because trying new things helps you discover your preferences and talents. For example, joining a class or club can show whether you enjoy an activity and help you meet like-minded people. Therefore, taking that small risk can lead to personal growth and new opportunities.

× Yes, I did. I have opportunities at school after the normal day you have extra lessons of different subjects for example we have theatre. Also we have curse and

✓ Yes, I did. We had opportunities at school after the normal day: there were extra lessons in different subjects. For example, we had theatre. Also we had a course in ...

The student mixed present simple with past context. The question asks about childhood (past), so verbs should be past tense. Use 'had' instead of 'have' and 'there were' for existence. 'Curse' is a spelling error; likely intended 'course'. Also add articles: 'a course'. Improve sentence flow by splitting into shorter sentences and adding punctuation. Suggestions: Use past tense consistently for past experiences (had, were). Use 'there were' to state existence. Correct spelling 'course' and include appropriate articles.

× Yes, I think people should try any activity that find interesting or that attracts itself because when you try then you realize if you like it.

✓ Yes, I think people should try any activity that they find interesting or that attracts them because when you try, you realize whether you like it.

The clause 'that find interesting' lacks the subject 'they' and so verb agreement is incorrect; add the pronoun. 'Attracts itself' is non-standard; use 'attracts them' to refer to people. 'If' in this context is better replaced by 'whether'. Also add a comma before the result clause for clarity. Suggestions: Include the subject 'they' in relative clauses: 'that they find'. Use correct pronouns to refer back to people ('them'). Use 'whether' to introduce alternatives.

× So I think that it's important to take the risk of prove yourself.

✓ So I think that it's important to take the risk of proving yourself.

After the noun phrase 'the risk of', the verb should be in the -ing form (gerund): 'proving'. 'Take the risk of prove' is ungrammatical. Use 'proving yourself' to express the action. Alternatively, use 'take the risk to prove yourself', but 'risk of proving' is more natural here. Suggestions: After 'risk of' use a gerund. Choose consistent verb patterns: 'the risk of doing' or 'the risk to do' (less common).