Opportunities— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 発音と文法の正確さを改善し、文を整理して簡潔に述べる練習をしてください。具体的には、時制と学年の表現（"junior high" と "high school" の混同）を明確にし、文章の切れ目で一息入れて完結した文を作ること。さらに、細部（どんな部活か、何を管理したか）を一つか二つ具体的に述べると説得力が増します。練習法としては、短く明確な主文＋1〜2文の補足（活動内容と役割、結果）という構成を意識して繰り返し音読してください。

例: Yes. In high school I became the leader of a school club. It was founded by a senior, but he couldn't run it alone, so I helped organize meetings and coordinate members. As a result, our club grew from ten to twenty members by the end of the year.

提案: アイディアは良いですが、語彙と文法の一貫性、そして接続表現を強化してください。例えば "new experience" は複数形の方が自然（"new experiences"）。"comfortable zone" は一般に "comfort zone" と言います。意見→理由→例の順で論理的につなげるために接続詞（"for example", "however", "therefore"）を入れる練習をしてください。発音と主語・動詞の一致（"trying ... makes us mature"）にも注意を。

例: Yes, I believe so because trying new things brings new experiences. For example, when I learned cooking last year, I became more confident and independent. Although it can be scary to leave your comfort zone, those experiences help you grow.

× Yes, when I was in junior high in high school I acted as a leader of club activity.

✓ Yes, when I was in junior high school I acted as the leader of a club activity.

The original sentence has redundant and awkward phrasing 'junior high in high school' and missing articles. Use 'junior high school' as the correct term, use the definite article 'the' before 'leader' to indicate a specific role, and 'a' before 'club activity'. Improve word order for clarity. Suggestion: simplify to 'when I was in junior high school' and include appropriate articles.'

× It was established by my senior, but he couldn't run it by himself so I helped him to manage the

✓ It was established by my senior, but he couldn't run it by himself, so I helped him manage it.

The sentence ends abruptly and misorders the verb and object. 'Helped him to manage the' lacks the object; use 'manage it'. Also omit the unnecessary 'to' after 'helped him' for natural English. Add a comma before 'so' to join the clauses. Suggestion: complete the sentence and place the object after the verb.'

× Yes, I think so because trying new things can bring us new experience.

✓ Yes, I think so because trying new things can bring us new experiences.

'Experience' as a countable idea here should be plural 'experiences' to indicate multiple different things learned. Use plural when referring to separate instances. Suggestion: use 'experiences' for multiple outcomes.'

× I can understand that breaking out our comfortable zone is a little bit scary but trying new things make us mature.

✓ I can understand that breaking out of our comfort zone is a little bit scary, but trying new things makes us more mature.

Several issues: use the preposition 'out of' with 'breaking out of our comfort zone', correct noun 'comfort zone' (not 'comfortable zone'), subject-verb agreement 'trying new things makes' (singular subject 'trying' takes 'makes'), and use comparative 'more mature' for natural expression. Add a comma before 'but'. Suggestion: fix preposition, noun form, agreement, and comparative phrasing.'