Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート
会話
Part 1
試験官
Do you often feel tired?
受験者
Unfortunately, I feel tired very often. Sometimes I'm exhausted from the beginning of the day. The major reason for that is that I am a teacher, I work with kids and it takes a lot of energy.
試験官
When would you feel tired?
受験者
In most cases I feel drained after my work. I'm a teacher and it takes a lot of time and energy to prepare for the lessons, to find interesting and authentic materials, to conduct my lessons. Moreover, sometimes I feel tired after my dance classes.
試験官
What do you do when you feel tired?
受験者
It depends on my mood. Sometimes I feel so exhausted that the only thing I need is to spend time at home, to play video games, to watch my favourite movies and to read books. But sometimes I like to spend my weekend in an active way, for example, go camping or ride a bike.
試験官
When you feel tired, do you still go out with your friends?
受験者
Yes, I like spending time with my friends, even if I feel drained, as for me it is a great way to forget about all the troubles and to relax. Moreover, I can get, I can gain some energy from my friends. However, sometimes I face two situations when I'm so exhausted that the only thing I need is my
評価
総合
Part 1
Do you often feel tired?
スコア: 78.0提案: Ответьте прямо и естественно: вместо “Unfortunately” можно сказать “Yes, quite often”. Объедините причину в более плавную конструкцию, например “because teaching is demanding”. Для конкретики добавьте короткую деталь о том, что именно утомляет в работе. Избегайте длинного соединения независимых предложений через запятую.
例: Yes, quite often, especially during the school term. Teaching can be exhausting because I spend much of the day keeping my students engaged and preparing lessons. By the evening, I usually need some quiet time to recharge.
When would you feel tired?
スコア: 76.0提案: Ответ в целом конкретный и по теме, но повторяется информация о работе учителем и трате энергии. Сократите перечисление и используйте более естественные сочетания, например “prepare lessons” и “teach classes”. Связку “Moreover” можно заменить на “I also”, чтобы звучать менее формально в разговорной речи.
例: I usually feel tired after work, especially when I’ve had a full day of teaching and lesson preparation. I also get worn out after dance classes, although I enjoy them. By then, I’m normally ready to relax at home.
What do you do when you feel tired?
スコア: 76.0提案: Вы хорошо показываете два разных варианта отдыха, но перечисление с повторяющимся “to” звучит тяжеловесно. Сгруппируйте занятия и используйте естественную конструкцию “all I want to do is…”. После “for example” добавьте грамматически параллельные варианты: “go camping or ride my bike”.
例: It depends on how tired I am. If I’m completely exhausted, all I want to do is stay in, watch a film, or read. On the other hand, if I just need a change of scene, I might go camping or ride my bike at the weekend.
When you feel tired, do you still go out with your friends?
スコア: 62.0提案: Начало ответа понятно, но “as for me” здесь неестественно; лучше сказать “because it helps me relax”. Исправьте самопоправку “I can get, I can gain” на одну ясную формулировку, например “their company lifts my mood”. Последнее предложение обрывается, поэтому завершите мысль: объясните, что в сильной усталости вы предпочитаете остаться дома. Старайтесь уложить ответ в 2–4 законченных предложения.
例: Usually, yes, because spending time with my friends helps me relax and take my mind off everyday problems. Their company often lifts my mood, even when I’m tired. However, if I’m completely exhausted, I’d rather stay at home and recharge.
文法
× The major reason for that is that I am a teacher, I work with kids and it takes a lot of energy.
✓ The major reason for that is that I am a teacher. I work with kids, and it takes a lot of energy.
The original sentence joins two independent clauses with only a comma, creating a comma splice. Separate them with a full stop, or connect them with a suitable conjunction. The comma before and also helps mark the two clauses clearly.
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