Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答有直接表达“Yes”，但后续内容存在严重的语法、搭配和表意问题，例如“low energetic kind of person”应改为“a person with low energy”，“after walk”应改为“after walking”，而“lie on the bike”可能想表达“lie on the sofa”。建议使用清晰的结构：先说明经常疲惫，再给出原因，最后补充日常表现。避免重复使用“I think”，并确保每句话表达完整、准确。

例: Yes, I often feel tired because I don’t have much energy. After walking or working for a whole day, I usually lie on the sofa for an hour or two to rest. I often feel exhausted by the evening.

提案: 答案试图说明在长时间步行或旅行后感到疲惫，但句子过长且逻辑不清。“go to the trip or the travel”应改为“go on a trip”，“when you're late walked”表达不自然；“four ten million steps”也不符合语境，可能应为“forty thousand steps”或“tens of thousands of steps”。建议直接回答时间场景，并用“especially”或“for example”连接具体细节，同时统一时态。

例: I usually feel tired after walking for a long time. For example, when I go on a trip with my friends, we may walk tens of thousands of steps in one day. By the evening, my legs ache and I just want to rest.

提案: 答案给出了休息和刷手机两个具体行为，但“lie on the bike”应改为“lie on the sofa”，“scroll down the screen”更自然的说法是“scroll through my phone”。后半句“give my psyche to others”意思不清，可能想表达去商店散步或转换心情。建议用“Usually... If...”，清楚说明主要做法及其原因，并避免不自然的直译。

例: When I feel tired, I usually lie on the sofa and scroll through my phone for a while. It helps me relax and take my mind off work or study. If I still feel stressed, I may go window-shopping to refresh myself.

提案: 答案开头直接回答了“No”，这是好的，但需要修正语法：“choose stay”应为“choose to stay”，“a person that love”应为“a person who loves”，“instead of”后的结构也不完整。此外，“work in the park”可能想表达“walk in the park”，而“scenes”在这里不自然。建议说明疲惫时需要安静休息，并用一个具体活动丰富答案。

例: No, I usually choose to stay at home when I feel tired. I’m the kind of person who enjoys having some quiet time alone. Instead of going out, I prefer to take a shower, watch a film, or simply sleep.

× Yes, I think because I am a really low energetic kind of person.

✓ Yes, I think it’s because I’m a really low-energy kind of person.

“I think because...”后面缺少完整的主句结构，应使用“It’s because...”来连接原因。“energetic”是形容人的“精力充沛的”，这里应使用复合形容词“low-energy”，表示“精力不足的”。

× Every day after walk that I need to lie on the bike for nearly one or two hours to I think to rise and I always feel terrible in the trial, I think

✓ Every day after walking, I need to lie down for nearly one or two hours to rest, and I always feel terrible afterward, I think.

“after”后面表示动作时通常使用动名词，因此“walk”应改为“walking”。“to I think to rise”结构错误，表达休息目的时应使用“to rest”。原句中多个短语连接混乱，建议使用逗号和并列连词“and”组成清晰的句子。

× I think that I always feel tired after a whole day's walk and sometimes go to the trip or the travel with friends that when you're late walked to four ten million steps, I always felt terrible at the time.

✓ I think I always feel tired after a whole day’s walk. Sometimes, when I go on a trip or travel with friends and we walk many steps, I feel terrible at the time.

“go to a trip”搭配错误，应说“go on a trip”。原句包含多个“and”和“that”，导致句子结构混乱，因此应拆分成两个句子。描述经常发生的情况时，应保持一般现在时，使用“feel”，而不是过去式“felt”。

× I think that I always feel tired after a whole day's walk and sometimes go to the trip or the travel with friends that when you're late walked to four ten million steps, I always felt terrible at the time.

✓ I think I always feel tired after a whole day’s walk. Sometimes, when I go on a trip or travel with friends and we walk many steps, I feel terrible at the time.

这个回答描述的是通常发生的情况，所以应使用一般现在时。“walked”和“felt”是过去式，与前面的“一直感到”和“有时”不一致，应改为“walk”和“feel”。

× I always just lie on the sofa or the bike to scroll down the screen to relax myself or I will go to some kind of shops more that can give my psyche to others to recover myself.

✓ I usually lie on the sofa or the bed and scroll through my phone to relax, or I go to a shop where I can talk to other people and recover.

“scroll down the screen”搭配不自然，表达浏览手机内容时应说“scroll through my phone”。原句中的“that can give my psyche to others”结构不完整且连接错误，应改成清晰的定语从句“where I can talk to other people”。描述日常习惯时，使用一般现在时“go”，不需要使用“will”。

× No, I would just choose stay at home.

✓ No, I would just choose to stay at home.

“choose”后面接动词时，需要使用不定式结构“choose to do something”，因此“stay”前应加“to”。

× I am a really kind of person that love staying at home and instead of just to go out for a trip or just work in the park or in the mall.

✓ I’m the kind of person who loves staying at home rather than going out for a trip or working in the park or the mall.

主语“who”指代单数的“person”，所以后面的动词应使用第三人称单数形式“loves”。指人的先行词通常使用关系代词“who”，比“that”更合适。“rather than”后面的动词形式应保持一致，因此使用“going”和“working”。

× I am a really kind of person that love staying at home and instead of just to go out for a trip or just work in the park or in the mall.

✓ I’m the kind of person who loves staying at home rather than going out for a trip or working in the park or the mall.

介词“instead of”后面应接动名词，不能接“to go”。同时，原句中“and instead of”的连接方式不正确；这里可以使用“rather than”表示“而不是”，并列连接“going”和“working”。

× I don't like that kind of scenes.

✓ I don’t like that kind of scene.

“that kind of”后面通常接单数可数名词，因此“scenes”应改为单数“scene”。如果想使用复数，应说“those kinds of scenes”。