Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 질문에 직접 답한 점과 공부 때문에 피곤하다는 이유를 제시한 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 “I’m a currently”는 “I’m currently”로 고쳐야 하며, “when my exams started”는 일반적인 상황이므로 “during exam periods” 또는 “when exams start”가 더 적절합니다. 또한 “study 9:00 to 9:00”는 “study from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.”처럼 전치사와 시간을 정확히 말하고, “uncomfortable”보다 피로감을 나타내는 “exhausted” 또는 “worn out”을 사용하는 것이 자연스럽습니다.

例: Yes, I often feel tired because I’m currently a high school student and I have to study hard. For example, during exam periods, I sometimes study from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., so I feel completely exhausted by the end of the day.

提案: “exam exam week”처럼 같은 단어를 반복하지 말고 “exam week” 또는 “during exam periods”라고 말해야 합니다. 또한 “because”를 여러 번 반복하면 문장이 길고 부자연스러워지므로, “I feel tired during exam week because I have to study for long hours to get good grades and enter a good university”처럼 한 번의 명확한 이유와 결과로 정리하세요. “the good university”보다는 일반적인 의미의 “a good university”가 적절합니다.

例: I usually feel tired during exam week. I have to study for long hours to get good grades, which can be physically and mentally exhausting. My friends and I often stay up late to prepare for our exams.

提案: 행동과 그 결과를 분명히 설명한 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 “important for our health and our mental”은 어색하므로 “important for our physical and mental health”라고 해야 합니다. “when I feel tired”와 “sleep”의 반복을 줄이고, “I usually take a short nap or go to bed early, which helps me feel refreshed”처럼 구체적인 방법과 결과를 제시하면 더 자연스럽고 효과적입니다.

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap or go to bed early. Sleep is important for both my physical and mental health, and it helps me feel refreshed. If I have a lot of work, I take a 20-minute nap so I can concentrate better afterward.

提案: “No”로 직접 답하고 집에서 쉬는 방법을 설명한 점은 좋습니다. 그러나 “dating with my friends”는 친구들과 데이트한다는 의미가 될 수 있으므로 “hanging out with my friends”가 적절하며, “rest on I rest in my house”는 “rest at home”으로 고쳐야 합니다. “because”와 “so”를 반복하지 말고, 친구에게 피곤하다고 설명한 뒤 집에서 쉬는 과정을 두세 문장으로 자연스럽게 연결하세요.

例: No, I usually stay home when I feel tired. I’m quite introverted, so I prefer having some quiet time rather than hanging out with my friends. I simply tell them that I need to rest, and I spend the evening relaxing at home.

× I'm a currently a high school student.

✓ I'm currently a high school student.

The article a is used twice. A singular countable noun such as student needs only one article, and currently should be placed before the noun phrase.

× When my exams started, I need to study hard.

✓ When my exams start, I need to study hard.

The answer describes a regular situation, so use the present tense in both parts of the sentence: exams start and I need. Keep the tenses consistent when discussing a repeated or general situation.

× I need to study 9:00 to 9:00.

✓ I need to study from 9:00 to 9:00.

Use the preposition from before the starting time when expressing a time range: from 9:00 to 9:00.

× I feel tired on exam week.

✓ I feel tired during exam week.

During is the appropriate preposition for an activity or period of time. Use during exam week to mean throughout that period.

× I need to get a good score to enter the good university in Korea.

✓ I need to get a good score to enter a good university in Korea.

Use a before good university because this is a singular countable noun that is mentioned generally, not a specific university already identified.

× Sleeping is important for our health and our mental.

✓ Sleeping is important for our physical and mental health.

Mental is an adjective and cannot be used alone as a noun in this sentence. It should modify the noun health. The natural expression is physical and mental health.

× I don't like going out or dating with my friends.

✓ I don't like going out with or dating my friends.

The verb date does not normally take the preposition with when the person being dated is its direct object. Say dating my friends. The preposition with correctly follows going out.

× So when I feel tired I explain my reasons to my friends and I rest on I rest in my house.

✓ So when I feel tired, I explain my reasons to my friends and rest at home.

The phrase I rest on I rest in my house contains a repeated and incomplete structure. Use one clear verb phrase: rest at home. A comma is also helpful after the introductory when-clause.