Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question more directly at the beginning and avoid repetition such as “I’d say that yes, I do often.” Use the natural expression “a lack of vitamin D” and say “vitamin D supplements” rather than “substitutes for it.” The answer is relevant and includes a clear reason and prediction, but it could be more concise and grammatically accurate.

例: Yes, I often feel tired during the week, especially after a busy day at work. I recently had some tests and found out that I have a vitamin D deficiency, so I’m taking supplements now. Hopefully, I’ll have more energy in a few weeks.

提案: Use the correct phrase “if I’ve slept badly” or “if I haven’t slept well,” rather than “slept worse or bad.” “Exhausting patients” means patients who make other people tired; “exhausted patients” means patients who are tired. Clarify the final sentence because “Otherwise, it’s common after work” is vague. Use linking words to connect the two situations more naturally.

例: I usually feel tired if I haven’t slept well the night before. I also get worn out after a long day at work, particularly when I’ve had several demanding patients. In general, I’m most tired in the evening after work.

提案: The response is well developed and gives a clear reason, but “siesta” is less natural in this context than “a short nap.” Say “I try not to take naps longer than 30 to 45 minutes” and replace “longer than so” with “longer than that.” Avoid repeating “tired” and “exhausted” by using alternatives such as “worn out” or “groggy.”

例: When I feel particularly tired, I usually take a short nap. I try not to sleep for more than 30 to 45 minutes because longer naps make me feel groggy when I wake up. After that, I normally drink some water and get back to work.

提案: The answer is clear, natural, and well supported with a contrast. Improve the opening by saying “It really depends on how tired I am” rather than “depends on the mood.” Use “a friend I haven’t seen in a long time” and avoid the awkward ending “so won’t cancel it”; say “I’ll still go out because I won’t want to cancel.” You could also use “them” instead of “him or her” for a more natural and inclusive reference.

例: It really depends on how tired I am. If I’m exhausted and the weather is terrible, I’ll probably cancel. However, if it’s a close friend I haven’t seen for a long time, I’ll still go out because I won’t want to miss the chance to catch up with them.

× On the weekdays, I'd say that yes, I do often feel tired, but I recently underwent some tests and I saw the lack vitamin D, so I'm taking substitutes for it.

✓ On the weekdays, I'd say that yes, I do often feel tired, but I recently underwent some tests and I saw the lack of vitamin D, so I'm taking substitutes for it.

The noun lack is followed by the preposition of when specifying what is lacking. The correct phrase is a lack of vitamin D, not a lack vitamin D.

× If I've slept worse or bad during the night, I usually feel tired.

✓ If I've slept badly during the night, I usually feel tired.

Bad is an adjective, but it describes a noun. Because it modifies the verb slept, an adverb is required. The correct adverb is badly. Worse is also unnecessary here because there is no direct comparison.

× I try to not take naps longer than thirty to forty five minutes because I've noticed that if they're longer than so, I feel more exhausted when I wake up than I was before.

✓ I try not to take naps longer than thirty to forty-five minutes because I've noticed that if they're longer than that, I feel more exhausted when I wake up than I did before.

The phrase longer than so uses an incorrect comparison object. Use that to refer to the length previously mentioned. In the second comparison, more exhausted should be compared with a similar action or state, so than I did before is more appropriate than than I was before.

× It really depends on the mood. If I'm super tired and it's bad weather outside, I usually cancel, but if it's a friend that I haven't seen for a long time and I've missed him or her, then even if I'm tired, I will go out so won't cancel it.

✓ It really depends on the mood. If I'm super tired and the weather is bad outside, I usually cancel, but if it's a friend that I haven't seen for a long time and I've missed him or her, then even if I'm tired, I will go out, so I won't cancel it.

The conjunction so must connect two complete clauses. The second clause needs its own subject and auxiliary verb: so I won't cancel it. The added comma also makes the relationship between the two clauses clearer.