Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly at the beginning, for example, “Yes, I often feel tired.” Then explain your routine using accurate verb forms and avoid repetition. Use “review my notes,” “do practice exercises,” and “learn new skills and languages” instead of repeating “learning” and “reviewing.” Also, say “tired,” not “taired,” and connect your ideas with a linking word such as “because.”

例: Yes, I often feel tired because I have a lot to do every day. For example, I need to review my notes, do practice exercises, and learn new skills. Studying languages can be especially exhausting, so I usually need a short break in the evening.

提案: The answer is difficult to understand because the time expression and several activities are unclear. Give a specific time, such as “in the evening,” and use the correct past or present forms consistently. Organize the answer in chronological order with linking words such as “first,” “then,” and “after that.” Avoid unclear phrases like “seven KM,” “free hair,” and “revealed my nose”; use precise activities such as “go to the gym,” “dry my hair,” “have dinner,” and “do the laundry.”

例: I usually feel tired in the evening, especially after a busy day. First, I go to the gym, and then I come home, dry my hair, and have dinner. After that, I still have to review my notes and do the laundry, so I feel exhausted by the time I go to bed.

提案: State your main action clearly and use natural expressions. The answer seems to mean that you take a shower and rest, but phrases such as “Always mill they can” and “make me feel relaxing” are not understandable. Say “a shower helps me relax” rather than “a shower makes me feel relaxing,” and explain the sequence with “usually” and “after that.”

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a warm shower and have a good rest. A shower helps me relax both physically and mentally. After that, I often go to bed early so that I can recover and feel refreshed the next day.

提案: Give a clear answer first, such as “Yes, sometimes I do.” Replace “bless myself” with the natural expression “cheer myself up” or “relax.” Explain that your friends help you forget your worries and make you laugh. Avoid repeating “because,” “things,” and “makes,” and use the structure “not only...but also” accurately.

例: Yes, sometimes I still go out with my friends when I feel tired. Spending time with them helps me relax and forget about my worries. They not only listen to me but also make me laugh, so I usually feel much better afterward.

× It is because I have to do many things for one day like a review reviewing my notes, doing the practice and learning more skills especially learning new skills and language makes me taired and exhausted.

✓ It is because I have to do many things in one day, such as reviewing my notes, doing practice, and learning more skills. In particular, learning new skills and languages makes me tired and exhausted.

Use in one day, not for one day, when referring to activities completed during a particular period. The preposition in is used for time periods.

× It is because I have to do many things for one day like a review reviewing my notes, doing the practice and learning more skills especially learning new skills and language makes me taired and exhausted.

✓ It is because I have to do many things in one day, such as reviewing my notes, doing practice, and learning more skills. In particular, learning new skills and languages makes me tired and exhausted.

After such as, use parallel noun phrases or gerunds. Reviewing, doing, and learning create a consistent grammatical structure.

× It is because I have to do many things for one day like a review reviewing my notes, doing the practice and learning more skills especially learning new skills and language makes me taired and exhausted.

✓ It is because I have to do many things in one day, such as reviewing my notes, doing practice, and learning more skills. In particular, learning new skills and languages makes me tired and exhausted.

The general meaning requires the plural form languages because the speaker refers to more than one language or languages in general.

× I think it's at seven KM one day because I not only need to go to the game this night and after going back also finished my free hair, took my dinner and finished that. After that I had other things like revealed my nose and reviewed my nose washed my clothes again.

✓ I think I feel tired at seven p.m. every day because I not only need to go to the game tonight, but after I go back, I also need to finish my free time, eat dinner, and finish my other tasks. After that, I have other things to do, such as reviewing my notes and washing my clothes again.

The question asks about a regular situation, so use the present tense: feel, need, go, and have. Every day also signals a repeated present-time action.

× I think it's at seven KM one day because I not only need to go to the game this night and after going back also finished my free hair, took my dinner and finished that. After that I had other things like revealed my nose and reviewed my nose washed my clothes again.

✓ I think I feel tired at seven p.m. every day because I not only need to go to the game tonight, but after I go back, I also need to finish my free time, eat dinner, and finish my other tasks. After that, I have other things to do, such as reviewing my notes and washing my clothes again.

The structure not only ... but also requires the conjunction but also. It connects two parallel ideas and makes the relationship between them clear.

× Always mill they can take showers doesn't make me feel relaxing. Have a good rest after that I'll take the shower to release my body, my mind and something in night.

✓ Usually, I take a shower because it makes me feel relaxed. I have a good rest, and after that, I take a shower to relax my body and mind at night.

Frequency adverbs such as usually normally appear before the main verb, or at the beginning of the sentence. At night, not in night, is the correct time expression.

× Always mill they can take showers doesn't make me feel relaxing. Have a good rest after that I'll take the shower to release my body, my mind and something in night.

✓ Usually, I take a shower because it makes me feel relaxed. I have a good rest, and after that, I take a shower to relax my body and mind at night.

Relaxed describes how the speaker feels, while relaxing describes something that causes relaxation. Therefore, use makes me feel relaxed.

× Just because I think staying with my friends is also a really good way to bless myself. Not only because they help me to to put down my different kind of things in my mind but also things also makes me always makes me laugh.

✓ I think staying with my friends is also a really good way to relax myself. They not only help me put my worries aside, but they also always make me laugh.

The original sentence begins with Just because, which creates an incomplete dependent clause. Begin with the main clause I think instead. Also, use not only ... but also to connect the two benefits clearly.

× Just because I think staying with my friends is also a really good way to bless myself. Not only because they help me to to put down my different kind of things in my mind but also things also makes me always makes me laugh.

✓ I think staying with my friends is also a really good way to relax myself. They not only help me put my worries aside, but they also always make me laugh.

Use the plural form worries because the speaker is referring to several problems or concerns. The phrase different kind of things also needs a plural noun if it is retained: different kinds of things.

× Just because I think staying with my friends is also a really good way to bless myself. Not only because they help me to to put down my different kind of things in my mind but also things also makes me always makes me laugh.

✓ I think staying with my friends is also a really good way to relax myself. They not only help me put my worries aside, but they also always make me laugh.

The subject they is plural, so the verb must be make, not makes. In the structure they make me laugh, make is followed by the object me and the base verb laugh.