Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Soruyu doğrudan ve daha doğal bir cümleyle yanıtlayın. “I am working” yerine genel bir durumdan bahsederken “I work as a lawyer” kullanın. Cümleleri noktalayarak ayırın ve “because” ile nedeninizi bağlayın. “It is natural because we are human” ifadesi fazla genel ve biraz gereksizdir; bunun yerine yoğun iş günlerinin sizi nasıl etkilediğini açıklayın.

例: Yes, I sometimes feel tired, especially after a busy day at work. I work as a lawyer, so I often have to concentrate for long hours and deal with demanding cases.

提案: Yanıtınızın temel fikri anlaşılır, ancak cümle tamamlanmamış ve bazı kelimeler yanlış kullanılmış. “Tusk value” yerine muhtemelen “my tasks properly” demelisiniz. “So” bağlacından önce nokta veya virgül kullanarak fikirleri ayırın. Zaman ifadesini ve sonucu daha açık şekilde verin: uzun süre çalışmak, konsantrasyonun azalması ve uykulu hissetmek.

例: I usually feel tired when I work for several hours without taking a break. As a result, my concentration drops, I struggle to complete my tasks properly, and I start to feel sleepy.

提案: Cevabınız soruya doğrudan yanıt veriyor ve neden belirtiyor; ancak çok fazla “and” kullanıldığı için akıcılık azalıyor. “Go to my home” yerine daha doğal olan “go home” ifadesini kullanın. “It is office” yerine dizinin adını “The Office” şeklinde söyleyin ve “a comedy series” ifadesiyle açıklayın. Fikirleri “Then” ve “because” gibi bağlaçlarla daha düzenli bağlayın.

例: When I feel exhausted, I usually go home because it is my comfort zone. Then, I watch my favourite comedy series, The Office, which helps me relax and gives me more energy.

提案: Yanıtınız tamamlanmamış ve sorunun ana fikrine tam olarak cevap vermiyor. Burada kararınızın arkadaşlarınızın gününe değil, sizin ne kadar yorgun olduğunuza bağlı olduğunu söylemeniz daha mantıklı olur. “If my friends have a good day” yerine “If I am not too tired” gibi uygun bir koşul kullanın. “I won’t” ifadesinden sonra “go out” ekleyerek cümleyi tamamlayın ve “however” veya “but” ile karşıtlık kurun.

例: It depends on how tired I am. If I am only a little tired, I still go out with my friends because socialising helps me relax. However, if I am completely exhausted, I prefer to stay at home and rest.

× Yes, I feel tired but not every day I am a lawyer and I am working if I have a busy day at my workplace.

✓ Yes, I feel tired, but not every day. I am a lawyer, and I feel tired when I have a busy day at work.

The original sentence joins several independent ideas without suitable punctuation or connectors, creating a run-on sentence. Divide the ideas into separate sentences and use when instead of if because you are describing a regular situation.

× I am a lawyer and I am working if I have a busy day at my workplace.

✓ I am a lawyer, and I feel tired when I have a busy day at work.

The present continuous form am working does not fit this general or repeated situation. Use the simple present to describe habits or regular circumstances. Also, when is more natural than if for a situation that regularly occurs.

× When I work for many hours without a break so my concentration drops and I can't do tusk value and it makes me feel sleepy.

✓ When I work for many hours without a break, my concentration drops, so I cannot do my tasks well, and this makes me feel sleepy.

When and so should not be used together in this structure. Use when to introduce the condition and so to show the result. The sentence also needs commas to separate the clauses. The phrase do tasks well is grammatically appropriate here.

× I can't do tusk value.

✓ I cannot do my tasks well.

The noun task is countable, so it needs a determiner such as my, and it should be plural when referring to several duties. Use tasks rather than the ungrammatical phrase tusk value.

× When I feel exhausted I go to my home because my home is my comfort zone.

✓ When I feel exhausted, I go home because my home is my comfort zone.

When home is used to describe movement to one's residence, it normally does not take the preposition to. Say go home, not go to my home, in this context.

× I watch my favourite series and it is office it's a comedy series and it gives me energy.

✓ I watch my favorite series, The Office. It is a comedy series, and it gives me energy.

The original contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation or structure. Separate the ideas into two sentences and use a comma before the coordinating conjunction and.

× It is office; it's a comedy series.

✓ It is The Office; it is a comedy series.

The Office is the title of the series, so it should be written as a proper title with capital letters and the definite article The. The article cannot be omitted from this title.

× If my friends have a good day I go out with my friends but if they have a bad day and they feel bad I won't.

✓ If my friends are having a good day, I go out with them, but if they are having a bad day and feel bad, I do not go out.

The present continuous is more suitable for situations happening on a particular day. Use are having to describe how the friends are feeling at that time. The final clause should contain the verb go out for clarity.

× If my friends have a good day I go out with my friends but if they have a bad day and they feel bad I won't.

✓ If my friends are having a good day, I go out with them, but if they are having a bad day and feel bad, I do not go out.

The sentence contains two conditional clauses and needs commas to show their boundaries. The final phrase I won't is incomplete in formal speech because the main verb is omitted. Repeat go out to make the sentence grammatically complete.