Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 주제 문장으로 직접 답한 점은 좋지만, 문장 연결과 표현이 다소 부자연스럽습니다. “I should make an effort to answer the question”보다는 공부가 정신적으로 피곤하다는 의미의 “It takes a lot of mental effort”가 더 자연스럽습니다. 또한 “especially” 앞뒤에 쉼표를 넣고, 구체적인 결과를 한 가지 덧붙이면 답변이 더 효과적입니다.

例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after studying for several hours. It takes a lot of concentration and mental effort, so I usually need a short break afterward.

提案: 운동 종류와 구체적인 예를 제시해 내용이 풍부하고 구조도 좋습니다. 다만 “raise my heart rates”는 일반적으로 “raise my heart rate”라고 하며, “a forty-five-minute run”처럼 복합 형용사를 사용해야 합니다. “like” 앞에 쉼표를 넣고 문장을 두 개로 나누면 더 자연스럽습니다.

例: I usually feel tired after exercising, especially after cardio workouts such as running or cycling. These activities raise my heart rate and make my muscles work hard. For example, I often feel exhausted after a forty-five-minute run.

提案: 질문에 직접 답했지만 동사 형태와 단어 반복 때문에 자연스러움이 떨어집니다. “lie on my bed and watching”은 “lie on my bed and watch”로 고쳐야 하며, “relieve relieve”와 “physical physical” 같은 반복은 제거해야 합니다. “stress and pressures”보다는 “stress” 또는 “physical tension”이 더 적절하고, 휴식의 구체적인 효과를 간단히 설명하면 좋습니다.

例: When I feel tired, I usually lie on my bed and watch YouTube videos for a while. It helps me relax and take my mind off the stress of the day.

提案: “No, I don’t”으로 답변을 시작한 점은 좋지만, “I prefer spend”는 “I prefer to spend”로 고쳐야 합니다. 또한 “recharge energy”는 부자연스러우므로 “recharge my batteries” 또는 “regain my energy”를 사용하는 것이 좋습니다. 친구들과 외출하지 않는 이유와 혼자서 하는 활동을 하나 추가하면 더 구체적이고 효과적인 답변이 됩니다.

例: No, I usually stay home because I prefer to relax by myself when I feel tired. I need some quiet time to recharge my batteries, so I might take a shower or listen to music instead.

× I usually feel tired after exercise, especially after cardio workouts, like running or cycling because they raise my heart rates and make my muscles work hard.

✓ I usually feel tired after exercise, especially after cardio workouts, like running or cycling because they raise my heart rate and make my muscles work hard.

Heart rate is normally used in the singular when referring to one person's general bodily response. The plural form heart rates would usually refer to the rates of multiple people or several separate measurements.

× For example, after a forty five minutes run, I often feel exhausted.

✓ For example, after a forty-five-minute run, I often feel exhausted.

When a time expression is used as a compound adjective before a noun, the unit remains singular: a forty-five-minute run. The words are also hyphenated because they work together as one adjective.

× When I feel tired I usually lie on my bed and watching some YouTube videos because it helps me relieve relieve my physical physical stress and pressures.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually lie on my bed and watch some YouTube videos because it helps me relieve relieve my physical physical stress and pressures.

The verbs after and should have the same grammatical form. Lie is in the base form, so watch, not watching, is needed for parallel structure.

× No, I don't I prefer spend the time to relax alone because I need to recharge energy when I feel tired.

✓ No, I don't. I prefer to spend time relaxing alone because I need to recharge my energy when I feel tired.

No, I don't and I prefer to spend are two separate clauses, so they must be separated with a full stop. The verb prefer is followed by a to-infinitive in this sentence: prefer to spend. Spend time relaxing is also the natural structure for describing an activity.