Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答直接，但语法错误较多，影响自然度。将“my daily life ... demanding”改为“my daily life at school is usually demanding”；“a low energy people”应改为“a low-energy person”。另外，“always feel tired”与“often”相比语气过强，可以使用“quite often”。建议用“观点 + 原因 + 简短解释”的结构，并避免重复两次“feel tired”。

例: Yes, I feel tired quite often. My daily life at school is usually demanding because I have a lot of classes and assignments. I’m also a rather low-energy person, so I need to rest regularly.

提案: 时间表达“after all day learning”不自然，应改为“after studying all day”或“at the end of a long school day”。“study is needed me to allow a lot more energy”结构错误，可以说“studying requires a lot of energy and time”。避免重复使用“because”和“so”，并用一个具体场景增强内容，例如连续上课或完成作业后。

例: I usually feel tired at the end of a long school day. Studying for several hours and completing assignments require a lot of energy and concentration. I especially notice it after an afternoon of back-to-back classes.

提案: 回答内容清楚，也给出了具体做法，但有一些语法和搭配问题。“go out to park”应改为“go to a park”，“to to”需要删除；“absorb some fresh air”不自然，建议使用“get some fresh air”。“this way can help me recharge my body”可以改为“this helps me recharge”。注意用句号连接两个完整句子，而不是逗号连接。

例: When I feel tired, I usually go to a nearby park and get some fresh air. I often walk around for twenty minutes while listening to music. This helps me clear my mind and recharge before I return to my work.

提案: 回答有明确观点和原因，但语法错误和不自然表达较多。“a funny people”应改为“a funny person”或“funny”；“can tell told”应改为“can tell me jokes”；“he is useful”不适合描述男朋友，建议改为“he helps me relax”。最后的“it can release my pressure”应改为“this helps relieve my stress”。可以减少重复的“my boyfriend”和“I think”，让表达更简洁自然。

例: Yes, I sometimes go out with my boyfriend even when I feel tired. He is a funny person and always tells me jokes, which helps me relax. Spending time with him allows me to forget about my schoolwork and relieve my stress.

× Yes, I always feel tired because my daily life in school or in some work usually demanding and I think I am a low energy people so I usually feel tired.

✓ Yes, I always feel tired because my daily life at school or at work is usually demanding, and I think I am a low-energy person, so I usually feel tired.

主语“my daily life”是第三人称单数，后面需要使用系动词“is”。不能说“daily life usually demanding”，因为这是一个缺少谓语动词的句子。

× Yes, I always feel tired because my daily life in school or in some work usually demanding and I think I am a low energy people so I usually feel tired.

✓ Yes, I always feel tired because my daily life at school or at work is usually demanding, and I think I am a low-energy person, so I usually feel tired.

“I am”后面描述一个人，应该使用单数名词“person”，不能使用复数“people”。正确表达是“a low-energy person”。

× Well, I always feel tired after all day learning because I think study is is needed me to allow A lot more energy and time. So it's so demanding.

✓ Well, I always feel tired after studying all day because I think studying requires a lot more energy and time. It is very demanding.

“after”后面可以接动名词，因此“learning”应改为更自然的“studying”。“after studying all day”表示“学习一整天之后”。

× Well, I always feel tired after all day learning because I think study is is needed me to allow A lot more energy and time. So it's so demanding.

✓ Well, I always feel tired after studying all day because I think studying requires a lot more energy and time. It is very demanding.

“study is needed me”不是正确的被动语态结构。“need”在这里表示“需要”，应使用主动语态：“studying requires a lot more energy and time”。另外，不能重复使用两个“is”。

× Well, when I feel tired, I usually go out to park and to to absorb some fresh air, I think this way can help me recharge my body.

✓ Well, when I feel tired, I usually go out to the park to get some fresh air. I think this can help me recharge.

“park”是可数名词单数，前面需要冠词。这里通常指某个具体的公园，所以使用定冠词“the”： “the park”。

× Well, when I feel tired, I usually go out to park and to to absorb some fresh air, I think this way can help me recharge my body.

✓ Well, when I feel tired, I usually go out to the park to get some fresh air. I think this can help me recharge.

“to to”中重复使用了介词“to”，只保留一个“to”即可。正确结构是“go out to the park to get some fresh air”。此外，两个独立分句之间不能只用逗号连接，最好使用句号。

× Yes, when I feel tired, I usually go out with my boyfriend because I think my boyfriend is a funny people and he can tell told some jokes for me and I think he's so useful and it can release my pressure.

✓ Yes, when I feel tired, I usually go out with my boyfriend because I think my boyfriend is a funny person. He can tell me some jokes, and I think he is very helpful. This can relieve my stress.

“my boyfriend is”后面描述一个人，所以应使用单数名词“person”，不能使用复数“people”。

× Yes, when I feel tired, I usually go out with my boyfriend because I think my boyfriend is a funny people and he can tell told some jokes for me and I think he's so useful and it can release my pressure.

✓ Yes, when I feel tired, I usually go out with my boyfriend because I think my boyfriend is a funny person. He can tell me some jokes, and I think he is very helpful. This can relieve my stress.

情态动词“can”后面必须接动词原形，因此应说“can tell”，不能说“can told”。过去式“told”不能放在“can”后面。

× Yes, when I feel tired, I usually go out with my boyfriend because I think my boyfriend is a funny people and he can tell told some jokes for me and I think he's so useful and it can release my pressure.

✓ Yes, when I feel tired, I usually go out with my boyfriend because I think my boyfriend is a funny person. He can tell me some jokes, and I think he is very helpful. This can relieve my stress.

句末的“it”指代不清，听者无法确定它指的是男朋友、笑话还是一起外出的活动。可以用“This”指代前面提到的活动，或者直接说“telling jokes can relieve my stress”。