Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答直接表达了“经常感到疲惫”，也提供了学习和写论文的原因，内容基本切题。但句子过长，重复使用“feel tired a lot”和“so”，并且时态和搭配不够自然，例如“when I finished my homework”应改为“after I finish my homework”，“search academic data”应改为“search for academic information”。建议使用“观点+原因+结果”的结构，并减少重复。

例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after work and study. I usually spend several hours searching for academic information and writing essays, which can be mentally exhausting. As a result, I often need to rest in the evening.

提案: 回答给出了两个具体场景：健身和长时间玩电脑游戏，内容较具体。不过连接词“and then”重复过多，表达显得不流畅；“power exercise”不自然，可以说“weight training”或“strength training”，“face the computer”应改为“look at a screen”。建议先概括回答，再用“also”引出第二个场景，并说明疲惫的具体原因。

例: I usually feel tired after exercising at the gym, especially when I do aerobic workouts and strength training. I also get tired if I play computer games with my friends for several hours because staring at a screen for too long can be exhausting. However, I normally feel better after taking a short break.

提案: 回答结构较清楚，先说明休息，再说明无法小睡时喝茶，且有具体时间“十五到二十分钟”，这是优点。主要问题是“take a short night”应为“take a short nap”，“alert and forecast”中的“forecast”用词错误，可以改为“refreshed”或只说“more alert”。最后一句“it's really helpful for me”较笼统，可以具体说明这些方法如何帮助你恢复精力。

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap if my schedule allows it, even if it only lasts fifteen or twenty minutes. If I cannot sleep during the day, I have a cup of tea to help me feel more alert. These simple habits usually help me recharge and concentrate better.

提案: 回答清楚地表达了“不外出”的立场，也说明了需要休息和恢复精力的原因。但“No, I don't when I feel so tired”语序不自然，应改为“No, I don't. When I feel really tired...”；“short snap”应为“short nap”，“even if take”缺少主语和动词形式；最后一句“which can help me to recharge”指代不清。建议用简洁的“观点+原因+具体做法+结果”结构。

例: No, I usually stay at home when I feel really tired. I prefer to relax by taking a short nap or simply getting an early night instead of going out with my friends. This helps me recharge so that I can enjoy socializing more later.

× Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finished my homework so and then I feel tired a lot because I needed to spend a lot of time to search academic data or finish my essay so I feel tired a lot after this

✓ Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finish my homework. I feel very tired because I need to spend a lot of time searching for academic data or finishing my essay.

这里描述的是经常发生的情况，所以应使用一般现在时。将“finished”改为“finish”，将“needed”改为“need”。不要因为句子中提到“after work”就误用过去时。

× Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finished my homework so and then I feel tired a lot because I needed to spend a lot of time to search academic data or finish my essay so I feel tired a lot after this

✓ Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finish my homework. I feel very tired because I need to spend a lot of time searching for academic data or finishing my essay.

“spend time”后面通常接动名词，即“spend time doing something”，不能使用“spend time to do something”。因此应说“spend a lot of time searching”和“finishing”。

× Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finished my homework so and then I feel tired a lot because I needed to spend a lot of time to search academic data or finish my essay so I feel tired a lot after this

✓ Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finish my homework. I feel very tired because I need to spend a lot of time searching for academic data or finishing my essay.

动词“search”表示寻找某物时，通常使用“search for something”。因此应说“searching for academic data”，而不是“searching academic data”。

× Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finished my homework so and then I feel tired a lot because I needed to spend a lot of time to search academic data or finish my essay so I feel tired a lot after this

✓ Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially after work when I finish my homework. I feel very tired because I need to spend a lot of time searching for academic data or finishing my essay.

“so and then”以及连续使用多个“so”会造成连词重复和句子结构混乱。可以拆分句子，并只保留必要的连接词，例如使用“because”说明原因。

× Well, if I go to the gym to work out and then I feel tired because I need to do some aerobic exercise and power exercise and then and also if I play computer games with my friend for a long time and then I feel tired a lot because you need to face the computer for a while.

✓ Well, I feel tired if I go to the gym to work out because I need to do aerobic and strength exercises. I also feel tired if I play computer games with my friends for a long time because I have to look at the computer screen for a while.

原句中反复使用“and then”和“and also”，使句子连接不清楚。表达两个并列情况时，可以使用“also”连接第二个情况，并分别组织句子。

× Well, if I go to the gym to work out and then I feel tired because I need to do some aerobic exercise and power exercise and then and also if I play computer games with my friend for a long time and then I feel tired a lot because you need to face the computer for a while.

✓ Well, I feel tired if I go to the gym to work out because I need to do aerobic and strength exercises. I also feel tired if I play computer games with my friends for a long time because I have to look at the computer screen for a while.

前文主语是第一人称“I”，后面不能突然改用泛指的“you”。这里是在描述自己的经历，所以应使用“I have to”，而不是“you need to”。

× Well, when I feel tired, I usually try to take a short night first if my schedule allows it, even if it's only for fifteen or twenty minutes. If a nap isn't possible during the day, I'll have a cup of tea instead to help me feel a bit more alert and forecast. So I think it's really helpful for me.

✓ Well, when I feel tired, I usually try to take a short nap first if my schedule allows it, even if it's only for fifteen or twenty minutes. If a nap isn't possible during the day, I'll have a cup of tea instead to help me feel a bit more alert and refreshed. So I think it's really helpful for me.

“forecast”通常表示“预报”或“预测”，不能用来表示人的状态。这里需要使用形容词“refreshed”，表示“感到精神焕发的”。另外，表示短暂睡眠时应使用“short nap”。

× Well, when I feel tired, I usually try to take a short night first if my schedule allows it, even if it's only for fifteen or twenty minutes. If a nap isn't possible during the day, I'll have a cup of tea instead to help me feel a bit more alert and forecast. So I think it's really helpful for me.

✓ Well, when I feel tired, I usually try to take a short nap first if my schedule allows it, even if it's only for fifteen or twenty minutes. If a nap isn't possible during the day, I'll have a cup of tea instead to help me feel a bit more alert and refreshed. So I think it's really helpful for me.

“day”在这里指通常所说的白天这一特定时间段，因此应使用定冠词“the”，说“during the day”。

× No, I don't when I feel so tired and I don't like to go out with anyone because I need to relax for a while even if take a short snap or just sleep for a while. So I think which can help me to recharge

✓ No, I don't. When I feel very tired, I don't like to go out with anyone because I need to relax for a while. I might take a short nap or just sleep for a while, and I think this helps me recharge.

原句包含多个完整意思，却全部连接在一个长句中，导致结构混乱。“even if take”缺少主语，且“So I think which...”不是完整、正确的句子。应拆分句子，并改为“I think this helps me recharge”。

× No, I don't when I feel so tired and I don't like to go out with anyone because I need to relax for a while even if take a short snap or just sleep for a while. So I think which can help me to recharge

✓ No, I don't. When I feel very tired, I don't like to go out with anyone because I need to relax for a while. I might take a short nap or just sleep for a while, and I think this helps me recharge.

“which”不能直接放在“I think”后面引导这个完整意思。这里需要用指示代词“this”指代前面提到的休息或睡觉，表达“我认为这能帮助我恢复精力”。