Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly in the first sentence and avoid general statements such as “it is a common thing in human life.” Use a more natural word order, such as “I often feel tired after...” Also, avoid repetition of “often” and “I feel tired,” and use one clear reason with a specific supporting detail. Remember to say “after a whole day of classes” and “at night.”

例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after a whole day of classes. I also play football at night, so I usually feel exhausted by the time I get home.

提案: Give a clear time expression first, then explain the reasons in a logical order. Correct “for taking too much classes” to “after having too many classes,” and avoid self-corrections such as “I started start to play.” Use a linking word such as “also” to connect your second point, and replace “very much tired” with “really tired” or “exhausted.”

例: I usually feel tired in the afternoon, especially after lunch and several classes at school. I also get exhausted at night because I play football from six to nine o’clock.

提案: Focus on two natural activities instead of repeating “take some.” The explanation about the origin of caffeine is unnecessary and unclear, so remove it. Use natural expressions such as “drink some coffee,” “take a short break,” and “relax at home.” Give a specific example of a calming activity to make the answer more effective.

例: When I feel tired, I usually drink a cup of coffee and take a short break. If I am at home, I listen to relaxing music or lie down for a while before continuing my work.

提案: Answer “yes” or “no” clearly at the beginning, then explain the condition. Avoid unclear phrases such as “beneficiary needs” and “go out with friendships.” Use “it depends on how tired I am” and explain that you may go out with close friends but stay home when you are exhausted. Reduce repetition and use correct subject-verb agreement, such as “each friend has.”

例: It depends on how tired I am. If I am only a little tired, I still go out with my close friends because I enjoy spending time with them. However, if I am exhausted, I prefer to stay home and rest.

× I feel often tired after taking my classes whole day.

✓ I often feel tired after taking my classes for the whole day.

The adverb often usually comes before the main verb feel, not after it. Placing it before the verb makes the sentence sound more natural.

× after taking my classes whole day

✓ after taking my classes for the whole day

The expression whole day normally requires the definite article the when referring to a complete specific day. The preposition for is also needed before the time expression.

× playing soccer cricket at the night

✓ playing soccer and cricket at night

The standard expression is at night, without the definite article the. The conjunction and is needed to connect the two activities.

× after lunch for taking too much classes in the school

✓ after lunch because I take too many classes at school

Classes is a plural countable noun, so it must be modified by many, not much. Much is used with uncountable nouns. The phrase at school is also the natural prepositional expression in this context.

× I feel tired after lunch for taking too much classes in the school.

✓ I feel tired after lunch because I take too many classes at school.

For taking does not correctly express the reason here. Because introduces the reason why the speaker feels tired.

× because I started start to play I play football at night from six to nine o'clock then I feel very much tired

✓ because I play football at night from six to nine o'clock, and then I feel very tired

The original sentence contains repeated and unfinished verb phrases, which makes its structure unclear. Use one complete verb phrase, play football, and connect the two ideas with and.

× then I feel very much tired

✓ then I feel very tired

Very directly modifies the adjective tired. Very much is generally used with verbs or certain comparative expressions, so very tired is the correct form here.

× I take some caffeine which is most probably came from the coffee wins.

✓ I take some caffeine, which most probably comes from coffee.

The answer describes a general fact, so the present-tense verb comes is required. Came is past tense and does not fit this general statement. The unnecessary passive structure is also removed.

× When I feel tired I take some take some caffeine and other things I do take some rest and do my relaxation at home and do some calmness activities.

✓ When I feel tired, I take some caffeine, rest, relax at home, and do some calming activities.

The original sentence repeats words and joins several ideas without clear structure. Use one subject with a clear series of parallel verbs: take, rest, relax, and do.

× each friend have different qualities

✓ each friend has different qualities

Each is singular, so it takes the third-person singular verb has, not the base-form verb have.

× each friend have different beneficiary needs and importance too

✓ each friend has different needs and levels of importance too

The singular subject each friend must agree with the singular verb has. The corrected sentence also uses a clear plural noun, needs, after different.

× when this friend is very important to me I feel I still go out with friendships

✓ when a friend is very important to me, I feel that I should still go out with that friend

That friend is a suitable pronoun phrase for referring back to a previously mentioned friend. Friendships is an abstract plural noun and cannot refer to people, so it cannot be used after go out with in this sentence.