Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly at the beginning: “Yes, I often feel tired.” Avoid unnatural phrases such as “come back from home,” “at the night,” and “do something.” Use “come home from work,” “at night,” and a specific explanation of your routine. The answer is slightly repetitive and contains several long, loosely connected clauses, so use clearer linking words such as “especially” and “because.”

例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after a long day at work. By the time I get home, my body feels sore and I usually need to rest for a while. I also feel sleepy at night, so I try to go to bed early.

提案: Use a clear time expression and answer with a complete, natural sentence. The conditional structure is unnecessary here; say “I feel tired when...” rather than “If I had...” Also, replace “when I will come back” with “when I come back,” and add one specific detail about the kind of work that makes you tired. Avoid repeating “work” several times.

例: I usually feel tired after a long and busy day at work. For example, if I have to move around constantly and deal with many tasks, I feel exhausted by the end of the day. When I get home, I normally want to take a short nap.

提案: The answer is direct and gives a reason, but some expressions are unnatural. Say “take a short nap,” “feel refreshed,” and “I can get back to work” instead of “take a small nap,” “rejuvenate,” and “do again a lot of work.” Keep the verb tense consistent by using “I feel” and “I wake up,” and connect the result clearly with “so.”

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap, usually for about 20 minutes. It helps me feel refreshed, so I can concentrate better when I wake up. If I do not have time to sleep, I drink some water and take a short walk instead.

提案: Begin with a direct answer and explain the contrast clearly: although you are tired, spending time with friends helps you feel better. Correct the unclear sentence “They help me the conversations...” by saying “Talking with them lifts my mood.” Avoid repeating “friends” and “so,” and give a specific example of a relaxing activity you do together.

例: Yes, I sometimes go out with my friends even when I am tired because spending time with them helps me relax. We might have dinner or simply chat in a quiet café, and these conversations usually lift my mood. However, if I am completely exhausted, I prefer to rest at home and meet them another day.

× As a working lady when I come back from home, I am really tired.

✓ As a working woman, when I come home, I am really tired.

We usually say come home, not come back from home, when describing returning to one's house. The preposition from is unnecessary in this expression.

× My body is aching and it feels as if I should just sleep and then only in the evening I can wake up and do some work.

✓ My body is aching, and I feel as if I should just sleep. Only then, in the evening, can I wake up and do some work.

Only then should be placed before the clause it modifies. In the phrase Only then can I wake up, the adverbial expression at the beginning also causes subject-modal inversion.

× And at the night also, I feel really sleepy, so yes I do feel tired.

✓ And at night, I also feel really sleepy, so yes, I do feel tired.

The fixed expression is at night, not at the night. Also is placed before the main verb feel in this sentence.

× If at work I had a really long day just going from here to there and doing a lot of work so after doing that I would really feel tired and I would like to have a nap when I will come back from work.

✓ If I have a really long day at work, going from place to place and doing a lot of work, I feel really tired afterward and would like to have a nap when I come back from work.

The question asks about a usual situation, so the present tense is more appropriate: have and feel. The original sentence uses a past or hypothetical pattern that does not match the habitual meaning.

× If at work I had a really long day just going from here to there and doing a lot of work so after doing that I would really feel tired and I would like to have a nap when I will come back from work.

✓ If I have a really long day at work, going from place to place and doing a lot of work, I feel really tired afterward and would like to have a nap when I come back from work.

After when, English normally uses the present tense to refer to a future time. Therefore, use when I come back, not when I will come back.

× If at work I had a really long day just going from here to there and doing a lot of work so after doing that I would really feel tired and I would like to have a nap when I will come back from work.

✓ If I have a really long day at work, going from place to place and doing a lot of work, I feel really tired afterward and would like to have a nap when I come back from work.

The original sentence combines an if-clause, a result clause, and so without a clear structure. Use one complete conditional structure and separate the introductory details with commas.

× It helps me rejuvenate and when I wake up I'll be more energized and that time I can do again a lot of work after that.

✓ It helps me rejuvenate, and when I wake up, I will be more energized. Then I can do a lot of work again.

Again should be placed after the activity it modifies: do a lot of work again. The phrase that time is unnatural in this context; then clearly shows the sequence of actions.

× They help me the conversations which I will have with them it will help lift up my mood and then I will not reduce.

✓ Talking with them helps lift my mood, so I do not feel as tired or unhappy.

The original sentence contains several clauses joined without clear grammatical connections. Reorganizing it into a subject, verb, and result clause makes the meaning complete and understandable.

× They help me the conversations which I will have with them it will help lift up my mood and then I will not reduce.

✓ Talking with them helps lift my mood, so I do not feel as tired or unhappy.

When help is followed by a person and an activity, the activity normally needs a preposition, as in help me with something. The revised sentence uses talking with them as the subject and avoids the incorrect structure help me the conversations.

× They help me the conversations which I will have with them it will help lift up my mood and then I will not reduce.

✓ The conversations I have with them help lift my mood, so I do not feel as tired or unhappy.

The student is describing a general effect of conversations with friends, so the present tense I have is more suitable than the future form I will have.

× They help me the conversations which I will have with them it will help lift up my mood and then I will not reduce.

✓ The conversations I have with them help lift my mood, so I do not feel as tired or unhappy.

Conversations is plural, so it must be followed by the plural verb help, not the singular pronoun it and singular verb will help.