Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сначала дайте прямой ответ, затем кратко объясните причину. Исправьте порядок слов и грамматику: вместо “because of my health both mental and physical” используйте “because of both my physical and mental health”, а вместо “most of time” — “most of the time”. Выражение “in my life” здесь звучит неестественно; лучше сказать “almost every day”. Ответ можно сделать более естественным и ограничить двумя предложениями.

例: Yes, I often feel tired because of both my physical and mental health. I feel exhausted almost every day, especially when I have a lot of responsibilities.

提案: Ответ не даёт чёткого времени или ситуации, поэтому начните с конкретного ответа, например “I usually feel tired after…”. Избегайте неестественного выражения “from starting to just walking home” и замените его конкретными примерами: после долгой прогулки, работы или учёбы. Фраза “I'm trying to deal with that” слишком общая и не развивает ответ. Используйте связку “especially when” для логичного объяснения.

例: I usually feel tired after a long day at work or after walking a long distance. I feel particularly exhausted when I have not slept well the night before.

提案: Содержание релевантное, но исправьте грамматику: после “prefer” нужно “to go”, перед “couple of hours” нужен предлог и артикль, а “trying to to do” содержит повтор. Лучше использовать более естественную конструкцию “I usually go home and take a nap”. Свяжите две идеи с “If I have enough energy” и уточните, каким хобби вы занимаетесь. Это сделает ответ более конкретным и естественным.

例: I usually go home and take a nap for a couple of hours, which helps me feel better. If I still have enough energy, I do something relaxing, such as listening to music or painting.

提案: Ответ понятен, но выражение “the offer to walk with someone” не полностью соответствует вопросу, который спрашивает о встрече с друзьями. Исправьте конструкцию “one friend that for whom” на “one friend whom I would always meet” или, более естественно, “one friend I would always go out with”. Вместо “in every time” используйте “no matter how tired I am”. Начните с чёткого “Usually, no”, а затем добавьте исключение и причину.

例: Usually, no. I prefer to stay at home when I feel tired, but I would still go out with my best friend because I always enjoy spending time with her, no matter how exhausted I am.

× Yes, I do because of my health both mental and physical, I feel exhausted most of time in my life.

✓ Yes, I do. Because of both my mental and physical health, I feel exhausted most of the time.

The original sentence contains a comma splice: two complete clauses are incorrectly joined with a comma. Separate them with a period. The phrase both my mental and physical health places both before the coordinated adjectives and includes the necessary possessive determiner.

× Yes, I do because of my health both mental and physical, I feel exhausted most of time in my life.

✓ Yes, I do. Because of both my mental and physical health, I feel exhausted most of the time.

The fixed expression is most of the time, so the definite article the is required before time.

× Oh, it's a hard question because I feel tired from many different things from starting to just walking home. So I'm trying to deal with that.

✓ Oh, that's a hard question because I feel tired from many different things, from starting my day to walking home. So, I'm trying to deal with that.

The original phrase from starting to just walking home is incomplete and unclear. The revised sentence uses a parallel structure, from starting my day to walking home, with two logically comparable activities.

× I usually prefer go home and sleep for a couple hours to make me feel better.

✓ I usually prefer going home and sleeping for a couple of hours to make me feel better.

After prefer, use a gerund when the following activity is expressed with -ing. The coordinated verbs should have the same form: going and sleeping.

× Also I enjoy my hobby so I'm trying to to do what I love.

✓ Also, I enjoy my hobby, so I'm trying to do what I love.

The infinitive marker to is repeated accidentally in to to do. Also, commas help separate the introductory word and the two independent clauses joined by so.

× Usually I wouldn't accept the offer to walk with someone but there is one friend that for whom I would go out in every time.

✓ Usually, I don't accept offers to go out with people, but there is one friend for whom I go out every time.

The expression is every time, not in every time. The preposition in is unnecessary.

× Usually I wouldn't accept the offer to walk with someone but there is one friend that for whom I would go out in every time.

✓ Usually, I don't accept offers to go out with people, but there is one friend for whom I go out every time.

That and whom should not be used together as relative markers. For a person after the preposition for, use for whom. In addition, whom already introduces the relative clause, so that must be removed.

× Usually I wouldn't accept the offer to walk with someone but there is one friend that for whom I would go out in every time.

✓ Usually, I don't accept offers to go out with people, but there is one friend for whom I go out every time.

The question asks about a usual present habit: Do you still go out with your friends? Therefore, the present simple, I don't accept and I go out, is more appropriate than would accept and would go out for this general routine.