Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Answer the question directly, then give one clear reason and a result. Avoid repeating “tired” several times and replace vague phrases such as “or something” with precise language. Use correct grammar and linking words: say “I am deficient in vitamin D,” “I only have about 12 micrograms of vitamin D,” and “Even when I rest, I still feel tired.”

例: Yes, I often feel tired because I am deficient in vitamin D. My level is only about 12 micrograms, so I sometimes feel exhausted even after getting enough rest.

提案: Use a more natural expression such as “housework” instead of “household works.” Begin with a clear time or situation, and support it with a brief explanation. Avoid repeating “feel tired”; use alternatives such as “become exhausted” or “feel worn out.”

例: I usually feel tired while doing housework, especially when I am cooking and cleaning at the same time. These tasks require a lot of energy, so I often need to take a short break afterward.

提案: Use the natural phrase “go to sleep” rather than “go for sleep.” Keep the verb tense consistent when describing a usual habit: use “I make” and “I can sleep” instead of “I will increase sleep.” Explain the action clearly and avoid the unnatural phrase “increase sleep.”

例: When I feel tired, I usually go to sleep or take a short nap. I make the room darker and quieter, which helps me relax and get some proper rest.

提案: The answer is incomplete, so finish the condition and state your usual choice clearly. Use “housework” instead of “household shows,” which appears to be a word-choice error. Also, distinguish between being physically tired and feeling bored or tired of staying at home; this will make your answer more logical.

例: It depends on how I feel. If I am physically exhausted, I usually stay home and rest. However, if I am simply tired of doing housework and staying indoors, I may go out with my friends to relax and improve my mood.

× I only have a range of twelve microgram or something Vitamin D.

✓ I only have a vitamin D level of around twelve micrograms.

The number twelve requires the plural noun micrograms, not the singular form microgram. Also, vitamin D is more naturally placed after level of when describing its measured amount.

× I only have a range of twelve microgram or something Vitamin D.

✓ I only have a vitamin D level of around twelve micrograms.

The phrase something Vitamin D is incomplete. The preposition of is needed in the phrase a level of vitamin D, or vitamin D can be used as a compound modifier before level.

× Yes, I often feel tired because I am Vitamin D deficient I only have a range of twelve microgram or something Vitamin D so my daughter said that I will feel tired even when I rest so it makes me so tired.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired because I am vitamin D deficient. I only have a vitamin D level of around twelve micrograms, so my daughter said that I would feel tired even when I rested. As a result, I still feel very tired.

The original response joins several complete ideas without appropriate sentence boundaries or conjunctions, creating a run-on sentence. Divide the ideas into separate sentences and connect related ideas clearly.

× My daughter said that I will feel tired even when I rest.

✓ My daughter said that I would feel tired even when I rested.

When reporting something said in the past, the verb usually shifts back: will becomes would and rest becomes rested. This is called backshift in reported speech.

× Mostly I feel tired while doing my household works like cooking, cleaning.

✓ I mostly feel tired while doing my household work, such as cooking and cleaning.

Work is uncountable when it means general tasks or activities, so household work is correct. The plural form works is not appropriate in this meaning.

× That's the main thing I feel tired.

✓ That is when I feel most tired.

The original sentence uses an unnatural structure after that is. Use when to identify the time or situation in which you feel tired, and use most tired to express the strongest degree.

× When I feel tired, I go for sleep.

✓ When I feel tired, I go to sleep.

The standard expression is go to sleep, not go for sleep. The preposition to is used because it indicates the action or state that a person is moving toward.

× I will increase sleep by making everything in the room darker so I will sleep calmly and rest.

✓ I try to get more sleep by making everything in the room darker, so I can sleep peacefully and rest.

The question asks about a usual action, so the present tense is more suitable than will. Use try to get more sleep to describe the method, and can to express the result or possibility.

× If I am tired of doing household shows and being in the house, then I will choose to go with my friends if I am.

✓ If I am tired of doing household chores and staying at home, I will choose to go out with my friends.

The original sentence ends with the incomplete clause if I am, so the final idea is unfinished. Complete the sentence with a clear main clause and avoid adding a second incomplete if-clause.