Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is direct, natural, and well developed, with a clear contrast between feeling energetic during the day and tired in the evening. Add a linking word such as “however” before the contrasting idea, and use a full stop at the end. You could also make the answer slightly more personal by briefly explaining what makes your workday tiring.

例: No, I don’t often feel tired. I usually feel energetic and motivated throughout the day; however, I become quite exhausted in the late evening after working for several hours. At that point, I normally just want to go home and relax.

提案: You give specific and relevant details, including walking around campus, back-to-back classes, and carrying a heavy backpack. Improve the grammar by saying “after a long day” rather than “after the long day,” and hyphenate “back-to-back.” Avoid repeating “tired” and “exhausted” too closely by using one of them and then adding a result or routine.

例: I usually feel tired after a long day of walking around campus, especially when I have several back-to-back classes and a heavy backpack to carry. By the evening, I often feel exhausted, so I take a short break before starting my homework.

提案: Your response has a clear structure and useful examples, but “sweep well” is incorrect in this context; it should be “sleep well.” Also, “recover energy” is less natural than “regain my energy.” Add commas after introductory phrases and use “which helps me” or split the final sentence to make it easier to follow.

例: When I feel tired, I usually rest for a while or take a short nap because I walk a lot during the day. In the evening, I try to sleep well and relax by listening to music or reading a book. These activities help me regain my energy for the next day.

提案: You answer the question directly and give a reason, but the second sentence contains repetition and inaccurate word choices. Replace “I need to need to” with “I need to,” use “sleep well” instead of “sweep well,” and say “get some rest” rather than “take some rest.” Connect the ideas more naturally and add a specific detail about what you do at home.

例: No, when I feel tired, I prefer to stay at home because I don’t have much energy. Instead, I get some rest, drink a cup of tea, and try to sleep well. I usually meet my friends another day when I feel more refreshed.

× I feel tired after the long day of walking around campus, especially when I have several back to back classes and when I need to carry a heavy backpack.

✓ I feel tired after a long day of walking around campus, especially when I have several back-to-back classes and need to carry a heavy backpack.

Use the indefinite article 'a' because you are referring to any long day of walking, not one specific day previously mentioned. The phrase 'back-to-back' should also be hyphenated when it functions as an adjective before the noun 'classes'.

× That's why I have to take some rest, I need to need to sweep well and drink tea to have more energy.

✓ That's why I need to rest, sleep well, and drink tea to have more energy.

The original sentence contains a repeated structure, 'need to need to', and joins two independent clauses with only a comma. Use one clear verb structure and coordinate the actions in a parallel list: 'rest, sleep well, and drink tea.'