Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and word choices, and limit to 2–4 concise sentences. Replace unclear words (e.g. “stateful”) with accurate terms like “stressful” or “demanding.” Give one specific supporting detail with correct time expressions (e.g. “I often have long meetings that last several hours”).

例: Yes, I often feel tired because my job is very demanding. For example, I frequently have long meetings that last several hours, and I often have to work two to three hours after official hours to finish tasks.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, tense). Be specific about what in meetings is tiring and use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it within 1–3 sentences.

例: I feel most tired during long meetings when there are heated discussions and we must make difficult decisions. The constant back-and-forth and pressure to reach a consensus drains my energy.

提案: Correct vocabulary and phrasing (e.g. “deep breath,” “ask to pause the meeting”), and make actions logical and concise. Use linking words to order steps (first, then, afterwards). Provide complete sentences and avoid incomplete endings.

例: First, I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. Then I politely ask to pause the meeting for a minute or two so I can rest, and after that I return to the discussion feeling more focused.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer and improve grammar (use present tense, plural/singular agreement). Be specific about activities and locations. Use linking words to contrast (e.g. “because,” “so instead”). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Not often, because most of my friends do not live near my house. So instead of going out, I usually relax at home by reading books or browsing online.

× Yes, of course I often feel tired because of my job is stateful and demanding.

✓ Yes, of course I often feel tired because my job is stressful and demanding.

The adjective 'stateful' is incorrect in this context; 'stressful' correctly describes a job that causes stress. Also 'because of my job is' is awkward — use 'because my job is' or 'because of my job.' Use clear adjective choice and correct clause structure.

× For example, I usually have a meeting, a long hour and then after work I still need two hour to three hour to back.

✓ For example, I usually have a long meeting, and after work I still need two to three hours to get home.

'A long hour' is incorrect; say 'a long meeting' or 'a long hour' (rare). Quantifiers and unit nouns must match: use plural 'hours' for ranges and 'two to three hours.' 'To back' is wrong; use 'to get back' or 'to get home.' Also add conjunctions for clarity.

× When the meeting have discussions and we have something that need to decide together so that made me tired.

✓ When the meeting has discussions and we have something that needs to be decided together, it makes me tired.

'Meeting' is singular so the verb should be 'has' not 'have.' 'Something' requires the verb 'needs' (singular) and the passive 'to be decided' is needed to express decision-making. Use present simple consistently for habitual situations and correct subject-verb agreement.

× First of all I will take a deep beast and then And I will ask for stop the meeting with one or two minutes to beg and then we're back to meeting again after we

✓ First of all I will take a deep breath, and then I will ask to stop the meeting for one or two minutes to rest, and then we'll return to the meeting afterwards.

Several errors: 'beast' should be 'breath.' 'Ask for stop' is incorrect; use 'ask to stop' or 'ask for a short break.' Use 'for one or two minutes' to indicate duration and 'we'll return to the meeting' for natural phrasing. Use gerund '-ing' where needed ('asking for') but here 'ask to stop' is preferable.

× Not much because my friend is not near with my house so I didn't have much friend and I do relaxing with myself like reading books or browsing a first book.

✓ Not much, because my friends don't live near my house, so I don't have many friends, and I relax by myself, like reading books or browsing e-books.

Prepositions: 'near with my house' is wrong; use 'near my house' or 'live near my house.' Count nouns: 'friend' plural 'friends' and quantifier 'many friends.' Use present tense 'don't have' to match habitual context. 'Do relaxing with myself' is incorrect; use 'relax by myself.' 'Browsing a first book' is unclear; 'browsing e-books' or 'browsing books' is better.