Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and direct. Start with a simple topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and vocabulary. Avoid unclear words and irrelevant fragments. Use linking words like 'but' or 'however' if contrasting ideas are needed.

例: Not often. I usually have enough energy, but sometimes I feel tired after long shifts at work because I have to care for many patients and deal with stressful situations.

提案: Provide a clear time or situation when you feel tired and explain why with a specific reason. Use chronological or causal linking words such as 'when', 'because' or 'after'. Keep sentences short and grammatical.

例: I feel tired in the evenings after a long day at work, especially when I have had back-to-back shifts because I have little time to rest between duties.

提案: Say one or two clear actions you take to recover and give a brief reason or result. Use correct verbs and simple noun phrases. Linking words like 'so' or 'then' help the flow.

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short rest in the staff room and chat with a colleague, which helps me relax and regain energy.

提案: Answer directly 'yes' or 'no' and then give a qualified reason or condition. Use clear phrases like 'sometimes', 'usually', 'only if' and give a brief example.

例: Sometimes. If I'm only a little tired I still go out with friends, but if I'm exhausted after work I prefer to stay home and rest.

× You know, I am not tired.

✓ You know, I'm not usually tired.

The original is grammatically acceptable but unclear in context; adjusting to 'not usually tired' clarifies frequency and fits the examiner's question about often feeling tired. Suggestion: use adverbs of frequency to answer 'Do you often...?'.

× When I am nicer, sometimes feel tired like a patients are using with me and some staff are being me.

✓ Sometimes I feel tired when I have to be nice to patients who depend on me and when some staff bother me.

The original sentence has incorrect word choice and structure. 'Nicer' is the comparative form but the speaker means 'being nice'; 'like a patients are using with me' is ungrammatical—use 'patients who depend on me' or 'patients who need my help'; 'some staff are being me' is unclear—use 'some staff bother me' or 'give me extra work'. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb phrases and appropriate relative clauses.

× I am not hype that otherwise known.

✓ I'm not hyper; otherwise, I'm fine.

The phrase 'not hype that otherwise known' is incorrect and unclear. Likely intended 'not hyper' meaning not excited; add a contrasting clause 'otherwise, I'm fine'. Use correct adjectives and conjunctions for contrast.

× I'm both pretty tired when I'm doing my sit and next sit stop not from our duty and I do again have release it when

✓ I feel pretty tired when I'm doing my shift, especially during the next shift if we don't get a break, and I only recover after I get some rest.

Original sentence is fragmented and uses incorrect words ('sit' for 'shift', 'stop not from our duty'). Clarify by using 'shift' and structure cause and effect: tired during shift, worse without breaks, recover after rest. Suggestion: break long ideas into clauses and use correct vocabulary.

× When I am real terrorists I do something like I go to the rest and room and talk about affection like you can go to Mon why it's

✓ When I'm really tired I do things like go to the resting room and talk to a friend about how I'm feeling.

'Real terrorists' is a phonetic/word choice error; should be 'really tired'. 'Rest and room' should be 'resting room' or 'break room'. 'Talk about affection' is incorrect for describing sharing feelings; use 'talk to a friend about how I'm feeling'. Suggestion: choose correct adverb 'really' and appropriate nouns/phrases.

× Yeah when I'm feeling tired and go still with my plan or the sun like Martella when I say in court

✓ Yes, when I'm feeling tired I still go out with my friends and follow my plans, like going to the market when I can.

Original has unclear words ('go still with my plan or the sun like Martella when I say in court'). Fix to clear present-tense statement: 'I still go out' and 'follow my plans'. Replace unintelligible examples with plausible phrase 'going to the market'. Suggestion: keep simple present continuous or present simple to describe habitual actions and use clear nouns.