Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and incorrect structures (e.g., “I'm I don't”). Use linking phrase like “however” to contrast past and present.

例: I don't feel tired very often nowadays. However, I used to because I worked long hours on a hectic schedule and had to manage a large workload and many colleagues, which was exhausting.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, then explain with specific details. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid unclear phrases like “as much as its weight.” Use linking words such as “for example” or “because.”

例: These days I mainly feel tired after my morning workouts. For example, my strength training routine leaves me physically tired because I lift heavy weights and do high-intensity sets.

提案: Structure answer: topic sentence then 2–3 specific activities with linking words. Correct odd phrases like “helped me online a lot.” Use natural collocations (e.g., “watch TV” or “stream a series”) and avoid listing repetitively.

例: I usually rest at home when I'm tired. For instance, I sit on the couch, have a small snack and stream a movie or a series, which helps me relax and recover.

提案: Answer directly, then give a brief reason with clear grammar and tenses. Avoid unclear conditional structures; use past/present correctly. Provide one specific detail about current situation.

例: Usually I prefer to stay home when I'm tired. I used to go out more when I lived in Bangkok, but since I moved to the US and haven't made many friends yet, I tend to stay in.

× Currently I'm I don't feel tired very often, but in the past I did because I have to work on a hectic schedule and have to deal with a lot of workload and many people at work.

✓ Currently I don't feel tired very often, but in the past I did because I had to work on a hectic schedule and deal with a heavy workload and many people at work.

This sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly and includes an extra 'I'm'. Change 'I'm I don't' to 'I don't'. Explain 'have to' should be past 'had to' to match 'in the past'. Also replace 'a lot of workload' with 'a heavy workload' for natural collocation. Suggestion: keep consistent tense—use simple past for past situations and simple present for current states. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× If we talk about now is the day, the only thing that make me feel tired is doing my workout routine every morning and I think it's a good way to be tired like as much as its weight.

✓ If we talk about today, the only thing that makes me feel tired is doing my workout routine every morning, and I think it's a good kind of tired.

The original has awkward structure 'If we talk about now is the day' and subject-verb agreement error 'make' should be 'makes' for singular 'the only thing'. 'As much as its weight' is unclear and unnatural; replace with 'a good kind of tired' to express positive tiredness from exercise. Suggestion: simplify opening phrase to 'If we talk about today' and ensure subject and verb agree. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× If we talk about now is the day, the only thing that make me feel tired is doing my workout routine every morning and I think it's a good way to be tired like as much as its weight.

✓ If we talk about today, the only thing that makes me feel tired is doing my workout routine every morning, and I think it's a good kind of tired.

The verb 'make' does not agree with the singular subject 'the only thing'; it should be 'makes'. Ensure singular subjects take singular verbs. Suggestion: identify the true subject and match the verb form accordingly. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Normally I just sit still, get some rest or sometimes I prefer sitting on the couch, have some small snacks and watch some TV, watch some movie or series. It's really helped me online a lot.

✓ Normally I just sit still, get some rest, or sometimes I prefer sitting on the couch, having a small snack and watching TV or a movie or series. It has really helped me a lot online.

Use of gerunds after 'prefer' and parallel verbs requires '-ing' forms: 'sitting', 'having', 'watching'. 'Some small snacks' is better as 'a small snack' or 'some small snacks' consistency; choose one. 'Watch some TV, watch some movie' is repetitive—use 'watching TV or a movie or series'. 'It's really helped me online a lot' should be 'It has really helped me a lot online' with present perfect to show recent effect. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and correct verb forms after preference verbs. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× I would say yes if I've still lived in Bangkok but right now I already moved to America which I have no friend so mostly I prefer staying at home than going out. Yeah.

✓ I would say yes if I still lived in Bangkok, but right now I have already moved to America and I have no friends here, so I mostly prefer staying at home rather than going out.

Pronoun and tense issues: 'I've still lived' is incorrect; use simple past 'still lived' in conditional. 'Already moved to America which I have no friend' is wrong pronoun and noun number—use 'I have already moved to America and I have no friends here'. 'Prefer staying at home than' should be 'prefer staying at home rather than going out'. Suggestion: ensure correct conditional structure, pluralize 'friend' to 'friends' when none, and use 'rather than' for comparisons. Grammar problem type ID: 12}]}