Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and vague phrases (e.g. "multiple problems with myself"). Use correct grammar for adjective forms and tenses (e.g. "I feel stressed" not "I'm always stressful").

例: Yes, I often feel tired. For example, I frequently experience anxiety and emotional ups and downs, especially after busy days at university. As a result, I usually need time alone to rest and recover.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating when you feel tired, then give two specific situations with linking words (e.g. "for example", "especially when"). Avoid unclear or incomplete examples ("such as man" is unclear). Use precise vocabulary like "intensive study" or "long projects".

例: I feel most tired when I work on long projects. For example, when I concentrate for several hours on a demanding subject like advanced mathematics, I become mentally exhausted and need breaks every hour.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then one or two specific coping strategies with linking words. Avoid repetitive and unclear phrasing. Mention practical actions (rest, exercise, breaks, planning) rather than only emotional reactions. Use correct verb forms and clearer structure.

例: When I'm tired, I usually take a short nap or go for a walk to refresh myself. If I'm very overwhelmed, I might write down the problems and make a plan to solve them, which helps me feel more in control.

提案: Answer directly and provide a concise reason with one supporting detail. Use correct prepositions and avoid repetition. You can add a brief example of what you do instead of going out to show specificity.

例: No, I usually prefer to stay at home when I'm tired because social interaction drains me. For instance, I might stay in and watch a film or read to recharge before meeting friends again.

× I often feel tired, like actually more than I feel stable or relaxed.

✓ I often feel tired, actually more than I feel stable or relaxed.

Remove the unnecessary comma after 'tired' to correct punctuation and improve flow; tense is present simple and is appropriate. Suggestion: keep present simple for habitual states and avoid filler words like 'like' in formal answers.

× I'm always stressful, I have anxiety, I'm not a stable person with my feelings.

✓ I am always stressed; I have anxiety, and I am not emotionally stable.

Use the adjective 'stressed' (not 'stressful') to describe a person's state. 'Not a stable person with my feelings' is awkward; use 'not emotionally stable'. Also combine clauses with proper conjunctions or punctuation.

× I always face multiple problems with myself.

✓ I often face multiple personal problems.

'Face problems with myself' is awkward. Use 'face multiple personal problems' to convey the intended meaning clearly and use 'often' instead of 'always' if frequency is variable.

× I had a lot of mistakes and issues.

✓ I have made a lot of mistakes and had many issues.

Mix of past simple and present perfect improves clarity: 'have made' emphasizes life experience up to now; 'had many issues' refers to past difficulties. Original 'a lot of mistakes and issues' needs more precise verb forms.

× To be honest, I often feel tired, but I feel most exhausted when I focus on something and give my own efforts, when I work on a long project or when I study the hardest and the most demanding subject for me, such as man.

✓ To be honest, I often feel tired, but I feel most exhausted when I focus on something and put in a lot of effort, such as when I work on a long project or study the most difficult subject for me, such as mathematics.

'Give my own efforts' is unidiomatic; use 'put in a lot of effort'. 'Study the hardest and the most demanding subject' should be 'study the most difficult subject'. 'Such as man' is incorrect; likely intended 'math' or 'mathematics'.

× It depends on how tired and it depend I was and it depends on how it depends at the moment.

✓ It depends on how tired I am and how I was feeling at the moment.

Maintain present simple for current habitual statements: 'depends on how tired I am'. Remove redundant phrases 'it depends' repeated and correct 'I was' placement.

× But most of the time I choose to cry and to take out all of my feelings to cry and just organize everything that made me feel tired to perform.

✓ But most of the time I choose to cry and let out all my feelings, then organize everything that made me feel tired so I can move on.

Use 'let out' or 'release' feelings rather than 'take out'. Avoid repeating 'to cry'. Use infinitive or purpose clause: 'so I can move on' clarifies intention. 'Made me feel tired to perform' is ungrammatical; replace with clearer purpose.

× For me, I prefer choosing staying alone without hanging out with my with any of my friends 'cause when I communicate with people I feel more exhausted.

✓ I prefer to stay alone rather than hang out with any of my friends because interacting with people makes me feel more exhausted.

Use 'prefer to stay' or 'prefer staying' (not 'prefer choosing staying'). Remove duplicated 'with'. Replace colloquial ''cause' with 'because'. Use 'interacting with people' or 'communicating with people' and correct subject-verb agreement 'makes me feel'.

× So I prefer being alone especially in this in this hard time when I am not OK.

✓ So I prefer being alone, especially during hard times when I am not okay.

Avoid repeating phrases 'in this in this'. Use 'during hard times' for general situations and 'okay' instead of 'OK' for formality. Present simple 'prefer' is correct.