Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答が断片的で文法や語順の誤りが多く、意味が伝わりにくいです。まずはトピック文で直接答え（Yes/No）を示し、その後に具体的な理由や頻度をつなぎ語（because, so, therefore, after）でつなげましょう。また、冗長表現や話し言葉の略（lol, 'cause, gotta）は避け、文を3〜4文にまとめ自然な流れを作ってください。発音や語彙は簡潔で正確なものを優先すると良いです。

例: Yes, I often feel tired. I study for long hours because I am preparing for university entrance exams. After school I usually study for about six hours, so I often go to bed early to recover.

提案: 回答が曖昧で不必要なフレーズ（"It is a good question in my desktop"）が含まれています。まずは直接に状況を述べ、具体的な頻度や程度を数字や時間で示しましょう。身体的疲労と精神的疲労の違いを明確にし、接続詞（when, because, although）で論理的につなげると良いです。

例: I usually feel tired when I have long study sessions. For example, when I study for more than ten hours a day I become physically exhausted, but mental fatigue affects me even more because I find it hard to concentrate.

提案: 答えが不明瞭で、意味の通らない表現や不要な前置きが多いです。まず行動を明確に述べ（I usually ...）、続けて一つか二つの具体的な対処法を理由や頻度とともに説明しましょう。難しい語彙は避け、簡潔で明確な語句を使ってください。例を挙げると説得力が増します。

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap or go for a walk to refresh myself. Sometimes I meet friends and we go to a café, which helps me relax and regain energy.

提案: 内容は肯定的に見えますが、表現が混乱しており繰り返しや文法ミスがあります。まずは短い肯定文で答え、その後理由を明確に述べてください（for example, because ...）。頻度や具体的な活動（e.g., go to a café, watch a movie）を示すと説得力が増します。繋ぎ言葉（because, so, when）を適切に使って流れを整えましょう。

例: Yes, I usually go out with my friends even if I am tired because staying at home makes me feel more restless. For example, we often go to a café or take a short walk, which helps me relax and feel better.

× OK, in my test and leave.

✓ OK, after my tests finish, I leave.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear; it lacks proper conjunctions and a clear structure. Use a complete clause indicating sequence: 'after my tests finish, I leave.' Ensure subjects and verbs form a full sentence.

× I'm tired and lol because I study a lot.

✓ I'm tired because I study a lot.

The filler 'lol' is inappropriate in a formal spoken response and disrupts sentence flow. Remove it to maintain coherence: 'I'm tired because I study a lot.'

× It's like I'm 'cause I'm a college student right now, so still I gotta study a lot for getting university.

✓ It's because I'm a college student now, so I still have to study a lot to get into university.

Colloquial abbreviations (' 'cause', 'gotta') and awkward phrasing make the sentence ungrammatical. Replace with standard forms: 'because', 'have to', and use 'to get into university' for purpose.

× That's why after school I study for six hours of work.

✓ That's why after school I study for six hours.

The phrase 'of work' is unnecessary and makes the verb phrase awkward. Simply state the duration: 'study for six hours.'

× Yeah, I go back over to sleep.

✓ Then I go home and sleep.

The phrase 'go back over to sleep' is unidiomatic. Use 'go home and sleep' to clearly express returning and sleeping.

× It is a good question in my desktop.

✓ That's a good question.

'In my desktop' is irrelevant and incorrect here. A simple response 'That's a good question' fits the context.

× I get tired when I study a lot.

✓ I get tired when I study a lot.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; the present simple correctly expresses a habitual condition, so no change is needed.

× It's going and entry.

✓ It happens suddenly and unexpectedly.

'It's going and entry' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with a clear description: 'It happens suddenly and unexpectedly.'

× It calls sometimes I'm studying twelve or more days and then it physically tired but for me mentally is more tired.

✓ Sometimes I study for twelve or more hours a day and then I feel physically tired, but for me mental fatigue is worse.

The original mixes time expressions ('days' vs 'hours') and lacks agreement and proper nouns. Use 'hours a day', add subject 'I', and clarify contrast: 'physically tired' vs 'mental fatigue.'

× I never thought of that.

✓ I haven't really thought about that before.

Present perfect expresses that up to now the speaker hasn't considered it. 'I never thought of that' is informal and may be acceptable, but 'I haven't really thought about that before' is clearer.

× That's a big question, but when I get tired, I think I cut with my hands and really sense press.

✓ That's a big question, but when I get tired, I sometimes rub my hands and press my temples.

'Cut with my hands' and 'sense press' are incorrect expressions. Use 'rub my hands' and 'press my temples' to describe actions when tired.

× And then last time listen to my two weeks ago, I went to hijack with my friends and they see the water blow and then yeah.

✓ Two weeks ago, I went on a trip with my friends; we went to the beach and saw the waves.

The original is incoherent: 'listen to my', 'went to hijack', 'see the water blow' are incorrect. Clarify time expression 'Two weeks ago' and use standard verbs: 'went on a trip', 'went to the beach', 'saw the waves.'

× For me, when I get tired, I always go out with my friends.

✓ For me, when I get tired, I always go out with my friends.

This sentence is grammatically correct: present simple properly expresses habitual action, so no change is needed.

× When I do a stay at home, it makes me tired of though because I start painting every day Every day in like Monday because I go out with my friends and then release.

✓ When I stay at home, it makes me feel tired because I start painting every day; on Mondays I go out with my friends to relax.

Original contains awkward phrasing and repetition. Use 'stay at home', 'make me feel tired', 'painting every day', and clarify schedule: 'on Mondays I go out... to relax.'