Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy (e.g. "feel tired" repeated) and correct tense/word order ("all day", "what I do is"). Use a linking phrase to connect feelings and actions.

例: Yes, I often feel tired when I have back-to-back meetings and a very busy schedule. In those situations, I usually take a short 20–30 minute nap to recharge because it helps me regain focus for the rest of the day.

提案: Provide a clear, grammatically accurate topic sentence and then give specific details. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") to explain reasons and avoid mixed tenses. Replace vague phrases like "all the day" with "all day" and choose one recovery action to describe with a reason.

例: I feel tired mainly when I have back-to-back meetings and heavy workloads because I am on my feet all day. Therefore, I either have a light, refreshing meal to regain energy or take a short nap to recover quickly.

提案: Avoid repeating the same idea. Start with a clear statement about your typical action, then give a second contrasting option with a linking word like "or" and a reason. Keep it to two sentences and use natural phrasing (e.g. "unwind" with friends).

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short 20–30 minute nap to recharge. Alternatively, if I'm not too exhausted, I go out with friends for coffee to relax and clear my mind.

提案: This answer is the strongest: it has a clear structure (condition + action) and specific details. To improve further, make it slightly more concise, correct minor errors ("friends" repeated, "a coffee" → "a coffee" or "for coffee"), and use a linking phrase like "however" for the contrast.

例: It depends. If I'm mentally tired, I go out with friends for coffee and a good conversation because it helps me unwind. However, if I'm physically exhausted, I cancel plans and take a 20–30 minute nap to recover.

× To be very honest, yes I do feel often tired when I have back-to-back meetings or have a busy schedule or all the day.

✓ To be very honest, yes, I often feel tired when I have back-to-back meetings, a busy schedule, or am busy all day.

Adverb placement: the adverb 'often' should be placed before the main verb 'feel' for natural word order. Also 'all the day' is incorrect; use 'all day' or 'busy all day'. Minor sentence-structure fixes: add commas and use parallel structure ('back-to-back meetings, a busy schedule, or am busy all day'). Suggestion: Place frequency adverbs (often, usually) before the main verb (I often feel) and keep parallel items consistent.

× So what I do I take a short nap or something.

✓ So what I do is take a short nap or do something similar.

Sentence structure: missing linking verb 'is' after 'what I do' to form the cleft construction 'what I do is...'. Also 'or something' is informal; 'or do something similar' is clearer. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× I feel tired when I have back-to-back meetings and a lot of work and I am on my feet all the day so I got frustrated and exhausted so I just have a fresh meal or took a short nap or.

✓ I feel tired when I have back-to-back meetings and a lot of work and I am on my feet all day, so I get frustrated and exhausted; I usually have a light meal or take a short nap.

Tense consistency: the sentence switches incorrectly to past tense 'got' and 'took' while describing habitual situations. Use present simple 'get' and 'take' for repeated actions. 'All the day' should be 'all day'. 'Fresh meal' is awkward; 'light meal' is more natural. Also break into clearer clauses and use appropriate punctuation.

× When I feel tired, I just take a short nap to recharge and go with my friends to unwind my mind or take a short nap so I feel recharged. Yeah.

✓ When I feel tired, I either take a short nap to recharge or go out with my friends to unwind and relax my mind.

Redundancy: the original repeats 'take a short nap' twice. Also word order 'go with my friends to unwind my mind' is slightly unnatural; 'go out with my friends to unwind' is clearer. Use 'either...or' to present alternatives and avoid repetition.

× If I'm mentally tired, I go with my friend friends and have a good conversation with a coffee.

✓ If I'm mentally tired, I go with my friends and have a good conversation over coffee.

Pronoun/plural issue: 'friend friends' is incorrect duplication; use 'friends' for plural. Preposition and collocation: 'have a conversation with a coffee' is unnatural; use 'have a conversation over coffee'. Suggestion: Check for accidental duplication and prefer common collocations like 'over coffee'.

× But if I'm physically tired, I cancel all my plans and take a short nap of 20 to 30 minutes.

✓ But if I'm physically tired, I cancel all my plans and take a short nap of 20 to 30 minutes.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable after minor style checks. 'Nap of 20 to 30 minutes' is understandable, though 'a 20- to 30-minute nap' is more formal. No correction of tense or structure required.