Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or conditions. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., 'after meals' or 'after a meal').

例: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after meals. For example, after lunch I usually feel sluggish because I tend to eat quickly and choose heavy foods, which makes me sleepy.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time phrase and avoid repetition. Use a linking phrase to explain why and give one specific detail. Correct grammar: use 'makes' with singular subject and remove repeated words.

例: I usually feel most tired right after lunch. This happens because I often have a large, carbohydrate-rich meal, which makes me feel drowsy in the early afternoon.

提案: Organize actions in a logical order and avoid repetition. Use linking words (first, then, after that) and concise phrasing. Give one specific example of where you go and how it helps, and correct unnatural phrases (e.g., 'Ross Room' if it's a proper noun keep it, otherwise say 'rest room' or 'staff room').

例: First, I wash my face in the rest room to feel refreshed, and then I take a short walk down the corridor. After that I look out at the garden for a few minutes, which helps me regain focus and energy.

× Yes, definitely I don't know why I feel tired most of the time, especially after meal.

✓ Yes, definitely. I don't know why I feel tired most of the time, especially after meals.

Missing definite/regular article and punctuation: 'after meal' is ungrammatical in this context; use plural 'after meals' to indicate generally after eating. Also add a period after 'definitely' to separate clauses for clarity.

× I will say the moment after lunchtime is the most tired for me.

✓ I would say the time after lunchtime is when I feel the most tired.

'I will say' is an odd future/intent construction here; 'I would say' is a more natural hedge. 'The moment after lunchtime is the most tired for me' uses incorrect adjective placement; use 'the time after lunchtime' and 'is when I feel the most tired' to express experience.

× So maybe just like just consuming some food it make me really tired.

✓ So maybe just consuming some food makes me really tired.

The verb must agree with the subject: 'consuming some food' (singular gerund phrase) requires 'makes' not 'make'. Remove redundant 'just like just' for concision and clarity.

× I will I will go to Ross Room to wash my face for a while for refreshing myself and then take a short walk in the corridor and then look outside to focus on some landscape, it would be better for me.

✓ I usually go to the Ross Room to wash my face for a while to refresh myself, then take a short walk in the corridor and look outside at the landscape; that helps me feel better.

Repeated 'I will I will' is incorrect and awkward; use 'I usually' for habitual actions. 'For refreshing myself' should be 'to refresh myself' (correct infinitive purpose). Combine clauses with appropriate punctuation and prepositions: 'look outside at the landscape'. Use present simple for habitual actions rather than 'will'.