Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then support with 1–2 specific details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "all good"). Add varied vocabulary like "rarely" and "maintain" to sound more natural.

例: I rarely feel tired because I maintain a healthy routine. For example, I sleep around seven to eight hours each night and exercise three times a week, which helps me stay energetic.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence and avoid filler phrases like "you know." Use linking words to contrast situations (e.g., "however," "on the other hand") and give a specific reason why inactivity makes you tired.

例: I tend to feel tired when I am idle and have nothing to do. For instance, long periods of inactivity make me lethargic, whereas staying busy at my law firm or exercising for an hour keeps me alert.

提案: Use a clear opening sentence and list 2–3 specific, natural actions with linking words. Replace informal phrases ("put it on my headphones") with clearer language and avoid repetition.

例: When I feel tired, I try to recharge by taking a short break and listening to music. I also watch a light movie or go for a brief walk to clear my mind and regain energy.

× I don't think I often feel tired.

✓ I don't think I often feel tired.

No correction needed; sentence uses the present simple appropriately to describe a general state. Suggestion: None.

× I can handle all the tasks assigned by my boss every day.

✓ I can handle all the tasks assigned to me by my boss every day.

The original omits the indirect object 'to me' after 'assigned'. Use 'assigned to me' to clarify who receives the tasks. Maintain present simple/modal meaning.

× And also I have enough sleep every day, and I do regular sports so it's all good

✓ I also get enough sleep every day, and I exercise regularly, so everything is fine.

'Have enough sleep' is non-idiomatic in English; use 'get enough sleep'. 'Do regular sports' should be 'exercise regularly' or 'play sports regularly'. 'It's all good' is informal; 'everything is fine' fits neutral register. Adjusted word order and punctuation for clarity.

× I feel tired when I have nothing to do, you know?

✓ I feel tired when I have nothing to do.

The original is acceptable conversationally; removing 'you know?' makes it more formal and concise. The present simple correctly expresses a habitual condition.

× I don't feel tired when I am busy handling the tasks in my law firm and I don't feel busy after I finish running or jogging for a whole hour.

✓ I don't feel tired when I am busy handling tasks at my law firm, and I don't feel tired after I finish running or jogging for a whole hour.

The second clause incorrectly used 'busy' instead of 'tired', which contradicts the intended meaning. 'Handling the tasks in my law firm' is better as 'handling tasks at my law firm' for natural preposition use. Maintain present progressive for current activities and present simple for habitual results.

× I just make myself refresh like I find some movies to watch or simply put it on my headphones, listening to music, just stay with myself for a while.

✓ I just try to refresh myself, for example by finding some movies to watch, putting on my headphones to listen to music, and spending some time alone.

Several issues: 'make myself refresh' is unnatural; use 'try to refresh myself' or 'refresh myself'. 'Like' used to introduce examples should be 'for example' or 'such as' in formal speech. 'Simply put it on my headphones' is unclear; use 'putting on my headphones'. Maintain parallel gerund phrases: 'finding', 'putting', 'spending'. Also change 'just stay with myself' to 'spending some time alone' for idiomatic expression.