Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason with a linking word. Avoid repetition (e.g. "so tired" twice) and minor grammatical errors ("schedule a lot of fashion design sketches" -> "create many fashion sketches").

例: Yes, I often feel tired after work because I have to create many fashion sketches every day. For example, I usually need to draft several designs and revise them, which leaves me mentally drained by evening.

提案: Give a clearer, grammatically correct answer with linked points. Use linking words like "sometimes" and "also" correctly, and replace vague phrases ("my loading is a lot", "con be concentrated") with specific reasons such as "heavy workload" and "need to concentrate." Keep it to two or three sentences maximum.

例: I feel tired in the morning sometimes when I don't sleep well, and I also feel exhausted after work because I have a heavy workload and must concentrate for long periods. For instance, long design sessions leave me mentally fatigued by evening.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence and one or two specific activities, using correct verb forms and clearer phrasing. Use linking words like "also" or "sometimes" appropriately. Replace awkward phrases ("release my exhaust feeling") with natural expressions like "relieve stress" or "re-energize."

例: I usually practice Muay Thai after work to relieve stress and re-energize my body. I also sometimes go jogging, which helps me clear my mind and sleep better at night.

× Yes, because my work is very hard and I need to schedule a lot of fashion design sketches at work, so I often feel so tired after work.

✓ Yes, because my work is very hard and I need to schedule a lot of fashion design sketches at work, so I often feel tired after work.

The phrase 'feel so tired' is grammatically acceptable but 'so' is unnecessary and informal here; this is a stylistic present tense issue. Removing 'so' makes the sentence more natural. Also the sentence uses present simple correctly for habitual actions, so keep tense as is.

× Sometimes I feel tired at the morning when I wake up and sometimes I feel exhausted after work because my loading is a lot and I need to con be concentrated at my work.

✓ Sometimes I feel tired in the morning when I wake up, and sometimes I feel exhausted after work because I have a heavy workload and I need to concentrate at work.

Use 'in the morning' not 'at the morning' (preposition error). 'my loading is a lot' is incorrect — use 'I have a heavy workload' (noun choice and article). 'con be concentrated' is ungrammatical; use 'concentrate' (verb) and remove extra modal 'be'. Also add a comma and 'and' to join clauses properly.

× I always do Muay Thai after work to release my exhaust feeling and also going to jogging sometimes when I feel tired.

✓ I always practice Muay Thai after work to relieve my exhaustion, and I also go jogging sometimes when I feel tired.

Use 'practice Muay Thai' rather than 'do' for natural collocation. 'to release my exhaust feeling' is incorrect; use 'to relieve my exhaustion' (correct noun and verb). 'also going to jogging' mixes gerund and infinitive incorrectly; use 'I also go jogging' (base verb). Maintain present simple for habitual actions.