Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer, concise and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid uncertain self-diagnosis unless asked, and give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I often feel tired both physically and mentally. For example, I struggle to concentrate for long periods, which makes me mentally exhausted, and I also have low energy in the evenings after a busy day. Because of this, I sometimes need to rest earlier than other people.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to list reasons. Be specific about timing and activities; avoid unclear words. Limit to three sentences.

例: I feel most tired on days when I have a full schedule. For instance, if I work a part-time job, attend classes and then meet friends, the combination of physical activity and social interaction drains my energy. As a result, I usually feel exhausted by the evening.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, then give specific, coherent actions and reflections using linking words. Avoid slang/typos (e.g., "tom scroll") and include one constructive alternative to show awareness.

例: When I feel tired, I usually try to sleep for a short nap and then relax by scrolling on TikTok or Instagram. However, because I know this isn't very productive, I sometimes take a short walk or do light stretching instead to refresh myself.

× Yes, I think I get easily tired both physically and mentally and I think I have ADHD that is why I get mentally tired for physically, I just think I don't walk up so that's why I get tired easily.

✓ Yes, I think I get tired easily, both physically and mentally, and I think I have ADHD; that is why I get mentally tired more than physically. I also think I don't wake up properly, so that's why I get tired easily.

The sentence contains incorrect pronoun/preposition use and unclear pronoun reference ('for physically' is incorrect and unclear). Replace 'for' with 'than' to compare mental and physical tiredness. 'I don't walk up' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'wake up'. Also split into shorter clauses and use punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: use comparative structure 'more than' and correct verb 'wake up'.

× Especially on days when I have to do a lot of work like part time job and go to school and then meet with friends it takes a lot of my energy, both physically and mentally. So on those kind of day, I get tired, even a zaust.

✓ Especially on days when I have to do a lot of work, like a part-time job, go to school, and then meet with friends, it takes a lot of my energy, both physically and mentally. So on those kinds of days, I get tired, even exhausted.

Errors include missing articles ('a part-time job'), incorrect pluralization of 'day' when referring to multiple days ('those kinds of days'), and an incorrect or unknown word 'zaust' which seems to be a misspelling of 'exhausted'. Use correct quantifiers and plural forms. Suggestions: add 'a' before 'part-time job', pluralize 'day' to 'days' and change 'zaust' to 'exhausted'.

× Mostly I would just sleep throughout the day and probably tom scroll on TikTok or Instagram. It is not a good idea to spend a day but that's how I do it.

✓ Mostly I would just sleep throughout the day and probably scroll through TikTok or Instagram. It is not a good idea to spend a day like that, but that's how I do it.

'tom scroll' is incorrect and likely a typo; the correct verb phrase is 'scroll through'. Also add 'like that' to clarify 'spend a day like that'. Maintain present habitual sense with 'would' or simple present. Suggestion: use the phrasal verb 'scroll through' and include 'like that' for clarity.