Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答要更直接并且避免冗长重复。可先给出简短明确的主题句说明频率，然后用一两句具体细节支持（什么时候、为什么会疲劳）。注意语法与连贯性，避免重复词汇如“that that”。

例: I sometimes feel tired, especially during intense study periods. For example, when I was in high school preparing for college entrance exams, I often stayed up late solving difficult problems and felt exhausted the next day.

提案: 回答应更具体并纠正自相矛盾或错误表达（如“unproductive and and motivated”似乎矛盾）。使用连接词（for example, when, because）使逻辑清晰，描述具体情境与频率，不要重复同一信息。

例: I usually feel tired when I study for long hours or do strenuous exercise. For example, after two hours of continuous studying without breaks I become sluggish and lose concentration, and after intensive workouts my muscles feel drained.

提案: 回答要有条理，先说主要做法，然后补充次要方法并说明原因或效果。注意避免重复（“get a good get a good sleep”），并可用连接词（first, then, or finally）。

例: When I feel tired, I usually drink a cup of coffee to boost my alertness briefly. If I'm still exhausted after a long day of studying or exercise, I try to have a good night's sleep to fully restore my energy.

× I was in high school doing all those complicated questions and trying to get into a good college that that certain times I did feel tired.

✓ I was in high school doing all those complicated questions and trying to get into a good college; at certain times I did feel tired.

原句中有重复词“that that”且连接不当；同时用法上需要用短语“at certain times”来表达“在某些时候”。建议去掉重复词，并用恰当的连接词或标点分开句子，使句子更通顺。

× When it comes to exercising or studying, I feel very unproductive and and motivated.

✓ When it comes to exercising or studying, I feel very unproductive and unmotivated.

原句出现了重复词“and and”，且“motivated”与上下文逻辑相反，应为“unmotivated”表示“没有动力”。建议删除重复，并使用正确的反义词以符合语义。

× So I constantly feel very tired during the process.

✓ So I constantly feel very tired during the process.

该句语法本身基本正确，但上下文中“the process”略模糊，建议可以具体化为“during studying or exercising”以使表达更清晰（此为改进建议，并非必须修改）。

× Well, when I'm feeling tired I would certainly get myself a cup of coffee to make myself wake up again from tiredness and maybe after exercising or studying for a whole day then I will probably get a good get a good sleep to get my energy back.

✓ Well, when I'm feeling tired I will certainly get myself a cup of coffee to wake myself up, and maybe after exercising or studying for a whole day I will probably get a good sleep to get my energy back.

原句中使用“would”在陈述习惯性行为时不太合适，通常用“will”或“usually”更自然。同时存在重复短语“get a good get a good”以及冗长的表达。建议用“will”或“usually”表达常规动作，删除重复并简化短语，保持时态一致性。

× Well, I feel tired when I'm studying and exercising etcetera 'cause I'm that kind of person.

✓ Well, I feel tired when I'm studying or exercising because I'm that kind of person.

原句使用口语缩写“'cause”和“etcetera”不正式，且并列连词用“and”可能导致与前后语义重复。建议用“or”更准确地表示两种情形之一，并将“'cause”替换为正式的“because”。