Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use correct tense and natural phrasing. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating similar phrases.

例: Yes, I often feel tired after a long day. For example, when I return from work or my internship — especially if I walk home — I usually feel exhausted, so I take a short nap to recharge.

提案: Use correct grammar (present tense) and give a clearer, more specific explanation with linking words. Provide one concrete example to illustrate the situation.

例: I usually feel tired after doing a lot of physical or mental work. For instance, when I have a full day of classes and then study for exams in the evening, I become very drained.

提案: Organize your response: state your routine first, then add a brief reason and a specific detail. Use natural linking words and avoid filler words. Mention typical durations or effects to be specific.

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap or drink a cup of coffee to wake up. After about ten minutes of rest I feel refreshed and can finish any remaining tasks.

× Yes, when I come back from my work or my internship I feel tired or when I go to institute and come back on foot I feel tired of it.

✓ Yes, when I come back from work or from my internship I feel tired, or when I go to the institute and come back on foot I feel tired.

Use of articles and prepositions is incorrect: 'my work' and 'my internship' can be 'work' or 'my internship' but parallel structure requires 'from work or from my internship.' Also 'go to institute' needs the definite article 'the institute.' 'Feel tired of it' is unnatural; simply 'feel tired' is correct. Improve by keeping parallel prepositional phrases and using the definite article before 'institute.'

× I feel tired when I was used to do a lot of work and work a lot, so I feel tired after that.

✓ I feel tired when I have been doing a lot of work or when I work a lot, so I feel tired afterwards.

The original mixes present 'I feel' with past 'was used to do,' which is incorrect. Use present perfect progressive ('have been doing') to describe recent continuous activity that causes tiredness, or use simple present 'when I work a lot.' 'Used to do' implies a past habit, not a current cause. Also use 'afterwards' for clarity. Use consistent tense with the main clause.

× And doing anything which take more time and more energy also make me feel tired.

✓ And doing anything that takes more time and more energy also makes me feel tired.

Subject-verb agreement error with relative clause: 'which take' should be 'that takes' because the singular noun 'anything' requires singular verb 'takes.' Also 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'doing anything.' Use 'that' for restrictive clauses and match verbs to their subjects.

× Whenever I feel tired I just get a nap or I get a coffee so that I can get active or.

✓ Whenever I feel tired I just take a nap or have a coffee so that I can feel active.

Awkward verb choices: 'get a nap' and 'get a coffee' are nonstandard; use 'take a nap' and 'have a coffee.' 'Get active' is acceptable but 'feel active' is more natural here. Remove the stray 'or.' Keep infinitive purpose phrase 'so that I can feel active.'

× I just get a rest.

✓ I just rest.

'Get a rest' is less natural and often informal; 'rest' as a verb is simpler and more natural. Use 'I just rest' for brevity and correct verb usage.

× After 10 minutes of rest I get active and do my all work whatever is pending.

✓ After 10 minutes of rest I become active and do all my pending work.

Word order and prepositions: 'do my all work' is incorrect order; use 'do all my work' or 'do all my pending work.' 'Whatever is pending' is wordy; 'pending work' is clearer. 'Get active' is replaced by 'become active' for naturalness.