Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and directly answer the question with one clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid irrelevant or unclear details (e.g. "testosterone") and correct grammar (use contractions and articles). Aim for 2–3 sentences, natural vocabulary and smoother phrasing.

例: No, I don't often feel tired because I exercise regularly and keep an active lifestyle. For example, I go to the gym five times a week, which helps me stay energetic most days.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the main situations when you feel tired, then give two specific examples linked by connectors (e.g. "for example", "also"). Fix verb forms and redundancies, and keep it within 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: I usually feel tired after very intense exercise and when I first wake up. For example, an evening high‑intensity workout leaves me exhausted, and I sometimes feel a little groggy right after getting up in the morning.

提案: Give a direct answer first (what you do) then one or two specific routines or reasons using linking words. Use precise time expressions and avoid repetitions. Correct grammar for conditional forms and duration ("a 2–3 hour nap"), and aim for natural phrases (e.g. "I feel refreshed afterwards").

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap or go to bed early. For instance, if I'm tired in the morning I'll have a 1–2 hour nap, and at night I try to sleep early so I wake up feeling refreshed.

× No I often don't feel tired because I am a gym goal person and I'm very active and it's not a composite thing that I always stay active.

✓ No, I don't often feel tired because I am someone who goes to the gym and I'm very active; it's not a complicated situation that I am always active.

The sentence uses awkward word choices and word order ('gym goal person', 'composite thing'). Replace with natural adjectives/nouns ('someone who goes to the gym', 'complicated situation') and correct adverb placement ('I don't often feel tired'). Also add commas and connectors to improve fluency.

× I feel tired also when I do a lot of work but often I don't feel tired and my testosterone is so high and so don't feel tired.

✓ I also feel tired when I do a lot of work, but often I don't because my testosterone is high.

Combine clauses and remove repetition. Use present simple consistently for habitual states ('I also feel', 'I don't') and avoid repeating 'feel tired'. Omit unnecessary words ('so don't feel tired') and simplify for clarity.

× Not much.

✓ Not much.

This fragment is acceptable as a short spoken response, but as a sentence it is a fragment. If a full sentence is required, say 'Not much else.' or 'Not really.' The current fragment is informal and context-dependent.

× I feel tired when I do a something heavy work like after a workout of my evening I feel tired because in the gym I do I I do AI do a intense workout which is the thing that make me tired and other things when I awake from my sleep then I also feel a little bit of tiredness.

✓ I feel tired when I do some heavy work. For example, after my evening workout I feel tired because in the gym I do an intense workout, which is what makes me tired. I also feel a little tired when I wake up from sleep.

Fix article errors ('a something heavy work' -> 'some heavy work', 'a intense' -> 'an intense') and plural/agreement ('make' -> 'makes'). Break the long run-on sentence into clearer sentences. Use 'wake up' instead of 'awake' in this context and correct noun form ('a little tired' rather than 'a little bit of tiredness').

× When I feel tired I do and I go for a little bit of nap like in the morning.

✓ When I feel tired I take a short nap, usually in the morning.

Use the correct verb 'take' with 'nap' rather than 'go for a nap' (both are possible, but 'take a short nap' is more natural). Remove filler words and correct noun phrase ('a little bit of nap' -> 'a short nap').

× If I tired then I go for a 2/3 hour of nap.

✓ If I'm tired then I take a two- to three-hour nap.

Use correct quantifier and number format ('two- to three-hour nap') and include the copula 'I'm'. 'Go for a ... of nap' is ungrammatical; use 'take a nap'.

× And mostly I'm tired in a night.

✓ Mostly I'm tired at night.

Use the correct preposition 'at night' rather than 'in a night'. Maintain present simple for habitual state ('I'm tired at night').

× So I do sleep.

✓ So I sleep.

'Do' is unnecessary in affirmative present simple statements. Remove auxiliary to form natural sentence 'I sleep.'

× I do sleep in night and then wake up with the full of full of lack of laziness and uh, it makes me also good feel.

✓ I sleep at night and then wake up feeling refreshed and less lazy; it also makes me feel good.

Correct preposition ('at night'), remove repetition ('full of full of lack of laziness'), and use natural adjectives ('refreshed', 'less lazy'). Use 'feel' correctly ('it also makes me feel good'). Improve word order and eliminate filler sounds.