Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Bạn nên sửa lỗi phát âm/nhầm từ và ngữ pháp, rút gọn câu cho tự nhiên hơn, dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và thêm một chi tiết cụ thể. Ví dụ: tránh từ sai như "toggling"/"top"/"trend"; dùng "working a full-time job" và "feel tired most days". Giữ độ dài dưới 5 câu và dùng liên từ đơn giản nếu cần.

例: Yes, I often feel tired. I work a full-time job while studying for a second bachelor’s degree, so my schedule is very busy. As a result, I feel low on energy most days and find it hard to relax in the evenings.

提案: Cần dùng từ chính xác (ví dụ "exam seasons" thay cho "Zim seasons"), rút gọn ý, trình bày rõ thời điểm và lý do cụ thể. Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý và tránh lỗi chính tả như "tired deadlines" hay "squirk".

例: I usually feel most tired during peak periods, such as the Lunar New Year and university exam seasons. During these times I have tight work deadlines and extra study commitments, so I often work overtime and feel completely burnt out.

提案: Câu trả lời gần đủ tốt nhưng cần sửa một vài lỗi nhỏ (không dùng mạo từ không cần thiết: "drink coffee" không phải "drink the coffee"); kết hợp thêm chi tiết cụ thể về tần suất hoặc loại cà phê để câu tự nhiên hơn. Giữ trong 3–4 câu, dùng liên từ để nối lý do và kết quả.

例: When I feel tired, I usually drink coffee to stay alert, especially on weekdays when I order it for delivery. On weekends I prefer to make coffee at home. Drinking coffee helps boost my mood and refresh my mind so I can study or work more effectively.

× Yes, I often feel tired because I am toggling a full time top and studying for a second bachelor's degree.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired because I am working a full-time job and studying for a second bachelor's degree.

The verb 'toggling' is incorrect in this context; use 'working' or 'holding' for a job. 'Full time top' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'full-time job' (hyphenated as a compound adjective) and requires the noun 'job'. Use the present continuous 'am working' to describe ongoing activities, and hyphenate 'full-time'. Suggestion: Replace incorrect verbs with context-appropriate verbs (work/hold) and use correct compound adjective 'full-time' before the noun 'job'.

× This busy schedule leaves me trend most days so I frequently feel low on energy

✓ This busy schedule leaves me tired most days, so I frequently feel low on energy.

The word 'trend' is incorrect; the intended adjective is 'tired'. Also, there should be a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so' linking two independent clauses. Use 'tired' to describe a state and add proper punctuation. Suggestion: Use the correct adjective 'tired' and add a comma before 'so'.

× I usually feel most tired during peak periods, for example the lunar new year and university Zim seasons.

✓ I usually feel most tired during peak periods, for example the Lunar New Year and university exam seasons.

Capitalization: 'Lunar New Year' is a proper noun and should be capitalized. 'Zim' appears to be a typo for 'exam'. Use the plural 'seasons' is acceptable, but 'university exam seasons' or 'exam periods' is clearer. Ensure correct noun choice and capitalization. Suggestion: Correct typos and capitalize proper nouns; use 'exam' instead of 'Zim'.

× During those times I have tired deadlines at squirk and extra study commitments so I often work overtime and feel completely burnt out

✓ During those times I have tight deadlines at work and extra study commitments, so I often work overtime and feel completely burnt out.

Several word errors: 'tired deadlines' should be 'tight deadlines'. 'squirk' is likely a typo for 'work'. Add a comma before 'so'. 'Burnt out' is acceptable but in American English 'burned out' is also common. Ensure correct word choice ('tight deadlines', 'work'). Suggestion: Replace typos with correct words and add punctuation to separate clauses.

× When I feel tired, I usually drink the coffee to stay alert, especially on weekdays when I order them for delivery.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually drink coffee to stay alert, especially on weekdays when I order it for delivery.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before an uncountable noun when speaking generally: use 'drink coffee' not 'drink the coffee'. Pronoun agreement: 'coffee' is uncountable/singular, so use 'it' not 'them'. Suggestion: Omit 'the' before general uncountable nouns and match pronouns to noun number.

× On weekends I prefer my own coffee at home.

✓ On weekends I prefer my own coffee at home.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable but could be clarified: 'my own coffee' is fine to mean coffee I make myself. No change necessary. Suggestion: None; sentence is correct.

× It helps boost my mood and refresh my mind

✓ It helps boost my mood and refresh my mind.

Sentence is correct; maintain parallel structure with two verbs 'boost' and 'refresh' following 'helps'. No article needed. Ensure punctuation at end. Suggestion: None; sentence is correct.