Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid redundant phrases like “do often” and “prefer to rest or for something relaxing.”

例: Yes, I often feel tired after busy workdays. For example, in the evenings I usually feel exhausted, so I relax by reading or listening to music to recharge.

提案: Keep the clear topic sentence but reduce repetition and improve linking: use one linking phrase (e.g., “because”) and give a concise consequence. Avoid repeating ‘in the evening’ if already implied.

例: I usually feel tired after sitting at my desk for about eight hours, because long periods of inactivity make my back and eyes ache. As a result, I like to relax on the sofa or go to bed earlier to recover.

提案: Use natural collocations and clearer wording: avoid awkward phrases like “rush to regain my energy” and ‘lightning comedy’. Provide one specific activity and a brief reason with a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”).

例: When I'm tired, I usually lie down and watch a short comedy or TV episode because it helps me laugh and clear my mind, which makes me feel more energized.

× Yes, I do often feel tired, especially after long days at work when my schedule is very busy.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired, especially after long days at work when my schedule is very busy.

Adverb placement (Present tense adverb). The adverb 'often' is more natural before the main verb 'feel' rather than after the auxiliary 'do' in affirmative sentences. Move 'often' before 'feel' to follow normal English word order: 'I often feel tired.'

× For example, in the evenings I usually feel exhausted and prefer to rest or for something relaxing to recover.

✓ For example, in the evenings I usually feel exhausted and prefer to rest or do something relaxing to recover.

Incorrect use of prepositions / verb form. The phrase 'prefer to rest or for something relaxing' is ungrammatical because 'prefer to' should be followed by a verb infinitive, not a prepositional phrase starting with 'for'. Use 'do something relaxing' after 'prefer to' or rephrase to 'prefer rest or something relaxing.'

× When I come home from the office after sitting in one position for 8 hours, I usually feel quite tired in the evening.

✓ When I come home from the office after sitting in one position for eight hours, I usually feel quite tired in the evening.

Present tense usage and number formatting. The sentence is grammatically correct in tense, but numerals in formal writing are usually written out as words for small numbers; changing '8' to 'eight' improves formality. No tense change is required.

× Because of that, I often want to relax on the sofa or go to bed earlier to recover.

✓ Because of that, I often want to relax on the sofa or go to bed earlier to recover.

Sentence structure. The original sentence is grammatical and appropriately structured for the context. No correction needed. Included to show it's checked.

× When I feel tired, I usually like to rush to regain my energy.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually try to regain my energy quickly.

Sentence structure and word choice. 'Like to rush to regain my energy' is awkward and ambiguous; 'rush' collides with the idea of relaxing. Use 'try to regain my energy quickly' which is clearer and consistent with the context of recovering energy.

× I often lie down in bed and watch a lightning comedy or a short movie because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

✓ I often lie down in bed and watch a light comedy or a short movie because it helps me relax and clear my mind.

Verb + -ing form / word choice. 'Lightning comedy' is incorrect word choice; the intended adjective is 'light' meaning not serious. Replace 'lightning' with 'light.' The verb forms 'lie down' and 'watch' are correct. No change to -ing forms is required.