Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: give a concise topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific reasons using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and irrelevant remarks. Focus on natural phrasing and correct verb forms (e.g., "I often feel tired because...").

例: I often feel tired because I spend long hours studying for the IELTS. For example, I sometimes study for four to five hours a day, which leaves me mentally exhausted, so I try to take short breaks every hour to refresh myself.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time or situation, then give a specific supporting detail. Use past tense correctly when talking about past experiences and include linking words like "for example" or "for instance." Keep sentences simple and grammatically correct.

例: I usually feel tired after playing sports, especially basketball. For instance, when I was in my second year of high school I played on the basketball team, and after long practices I was often exhausted because training lasted two hours and was very intense.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your typical action, then explain why it helps using specific details and correct vocabulary. Avoid unclear phrases and incorrect collocations (e.g., "soak in the bath," "relieve my fatigue"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" properly.

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a warm bath because it helps me relax and relieve fatigue. For example, I soak in the tub for about 15 minutes and then I feel calmer and ready to study again.

× Yeah, I I either feel tired because I'm always busy to study English especially 40 IELTS and I'm not good at studying so I usually being annoying. My mistake.

✓ Yeah, I often feel tired because I'm always busy studying English, especially preparing for the IELTS, and I'm not good at studying, so I usually get annoyed. My mistake.

Pronoun repetition 'I I' is an error; 'either' is misused (choose 'often'); 'busy to study' is incorrect: use 'busy studying' (verb + -ing). '40 IELTS' is unclear; likely 'preparing for the IELTS' fits. 'being annoying' is wrong because the student means 'become annoyed' or 'get annoyed' (incorrect verb form and voice). Suggestions: remove duplicate pronouns, replace 'either' with 'often', use 'busy' + gerund, clarify 'IELTS' phrase, and use 'get annoyed' to express becoming irritated. Reference IDs: 12,8,13

× I usually feel tired when I play the sports.

✓ I usually feel tired when I play sports.

Use of definite article 'the' before plural uncountable activity 'sports' is incorrect. 'Play sports' is the common collocation. Also maintain simple present for habitual action. Suggestion: remove 'the' to say 'play sports'. Reference ID:6,17

× In most case, when I was 22 second years high school student, I belong to the basketball team.

✓ In most cases, when I was in my second year of high school at 22, I belonged to the basketball team.

Multiple errors: 'In most case' should be plural 'In most cases' (quantifier). Time clause references past, so verbs must be past: 'was' is correct, but 'belong' should be past 'belonged' (subject-verb agreement and tense). Word order for 'second year' and age needs reordering: 'in my second year of high school at 22' or similar. Suggestion: use plural 'cases', correct past tense 'belonged', and use natural phrase 'second year of high school'. Reference IDs:5,14,27

× It was the sport was very hard and don't that sports doesn't have left.

✓ The sport was very hard, and I didn't have any energy left.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. 'It was the sport was very hard' repeats subject and verb. 'don't that sports doesn't have left' mixes negation incorrectly and incorrect pronoun usage. Correct structure: simple past 'was' for description and 'didn't have any energy left' to express exhaustion. Suggestion: simplify to two clauses: 'The sport was very hard, and I didn't have any energy left.' Reference ID:26

× When I feel tired I usually go to the bathroom and take a bath and enjoy wash, enjoy soaking the bath and because I can take after my fatigue and it will urge my bro.

✓ When I feel tired I usually go to the bathroom, take a bath, and enjoy soaking in the tub because it helps relieve my fatigue.

Problems: 'enjoy wash' is incorrect collocation; use 'enjoy washing' or better 'enjoy soaking in the tub'. 'enjoy soaking the bath' incorrect object and article; 'soaking in the tub' is natural. 'because I can take after my fatigue' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is 'it helps relieve my fatigue' (use present simple for general truth). 'it will urge my bro' is unclear and likely incorrect; removed. Suggestions: use gerund forms correctly ('soaking in the tub'), use 'helps relieve' to express reducing fatigue, and avoid unclear phrases. Reference IDs:8,9,26