Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答内容完整，但表达不够简洁自然，有语法错误与重复，语句衔接欠佳。建议： 1) 开头用一句主题句直接回答并概括原因，例如“I often feel tired because...”； 2) 使用2-3个简洁的支持点，每点一两句，避免重复（如不要多次提到“have to”）； 3) 注意时态和名词单复数（a tutor / tutors）； 4) 使用连接词使逻辑更顺畅（for example, besides, however）； 5) 保持句子数量不超过5句，避免填充词（umm, you know）。

例: Yes, I often feel tired because I juggle university studies, part-time tutoring and household chores. For example, I need to finish assignments for my courses and prepare lessons for my students. Besides, I also spend time cleaning and cooking at home. However, despite the tiredness, I feel satisfied because these activities give me a sense of achievement.

提案: 总体明确，但有语法和表达不准确的问题，信息重复且句子断裂。建议： 1) 开始用句子直接回答并突出频率或时间（e.g. “I usually feel most tired during exam weeks.”）； 2) 合并相近内容避免重复（mid-term and final exams）； 3) 用更具体的时间表达（during midterms and finals, over a week or two）； 4) 修正冠词与介词错误（a lab test, prepare for many subjects in a short time）； 5) 控制在3-4句内并加入连接词（for example, because）。

例: I usually feel most tired during exam weeks, especially midterms and finals. During those one- or two-week periods I have to revise many subjects in a short time. For example, I might be studying for a lab test and exams in polymer science and materials science at the same time, so I often feel exhausted.

提案: 回答内容清楚且有具体例子，但存在语法错误、句子结构不自然及口语填充，部分信息重复。建议： 1) 开头直接陈述主要方法（I usually listen to music）； 2) 用连接词解释原因和细节（because, for example）； 3) 注意主谓一致和冠词（It helps me, I'm a big fan）； 4) 避免过多重复描述节奏与旋律，可用一两词概括（upbeat K-pop songs）； 5) 保持简洁，3-4句内完成回答。

例: I usually listen to music when I feel tired because it lifts my mood. Upbeat K-pop songs with energetic rhythms and catchy melodies help me relax quickly. For example, I often play tracks by Blackpink or BTS to relieve stress and boost my energy.

× I also have to do my job as a tutors to teach students.

✓ I also have to do my job as a tutor to teach students.

原句中“tutors”使用了复数形式，但前面有不定冠词“a”与单数名词搭配。应使用单数“tutor”。建议：当存在不定冠词a/an或指一个职位时，使用单数形式。

× On top of that, I have to do household chores like mopping the floors or doing the dishes Yes, so that's why I often. Real tired umm.

✓ On top of that, I have to do household chores like mopping the floors or doing the dishes, so that's why I often feel really tired.

原句结构断裂且有语序混乱，‘often. Real tired’不是完整句子。应把原因句连贯起来并使用完整谓语“feel really tired”。建议：保持句子完整，主语+谓语+宾语，避免随意断句和口头填充词。

× However, I feel a sense of achievements and also really satisfied with my life.

✓ However, I feel a sense of achievement and am also really satisfied with my life.

“a sense of achievements”中“achievements”为复数名词搭配“a sense of”不自然，应用不可数名词“achievement”。此外“really satisfied”前需有系动词“am”来构成表语。建议：注意名词的可数/不可数用法并确保谓语动词存在。

× I don't hate about this, although sometimes it's very tired during an announce.

✓ I don't mind this, although sometimes it's very tiring during an announcement.

“hate about”用法错误，通常说“I don't mind this”或“I don't hate this”。“during an announce”中“announce”为动词，应使用名词“announcement”，且“very tired”应改为现在分词形容词“very tiring”来形容情形。建议：选择正确的动词/名词形式，使用适当的形容词或动名词描述状态。

× I feel tired every time, especially in the exam weeks.

✓ I feel tired all the time, especially during exam weeks.

“every time”用法不当，表达持续状态应为“all the time”。“in the exam weeks”介词与复数名词搭配不自然，常用“during exam weeks”。建议：使用习惯搭配表达频率与时间。

× There are two weeks for exams, middle exam and also the final exam in university.

✓ There are two exam weeks: the midterm week and the final exam week at university.

原句中缺乏冠词并且短语顺序不自然。应使用“the midterm week”和“the final exam week”来明确具体哪几周。建议：注意定冠词的使用以指代特定的事物或时间段，并按习惯顺序表达。

× I usually feel exhausted about in these two weeks because I have to prepare for plenty of subjects in a short time.

✓ I usually feel exhausted during these two weeks because I have to prepare for many subjects in a short time.

“exhausted about in”是不正确的搭配，应使用介词“during”表示在这两周期间。“plenty of subjects”在此处更自然的表达是“many subjects”。建议：使用正确介词表示时间段，并用更自然的数量词搭配名词。

× For example, I have to prepare for. Lab test and the polymer science test or the material science test during a very short time about the week, so I feel tired.

✓ For example, I have to prepare for lab tests, the polymer science test, and the material science test in a very short time during the week, so I feel tired.

原句中断句错误（“prepare for.”后接名词不连贯），并且列举项和时间状语位置混乱。应移除多余句点，使用复数或并列名词并把时间状语放在合适位置。建议：列举时使用并列结构并确保时间状语位置正确。

× Are you sure listen to music when I feel tired because listening to songs is one of my hobbies.

✓ I usually listen to music when I feel tired because listening to songs is one of my hobbies.

原句开头“Are you sure”不合上下文且导致句子疑问化，应改为陈述句“I usually listen to music”。此外保持因果关系连贯。建议：根据语境选择陈述句或疑问句，不要混淆。

× It's always helps me to lift my mood instantly.

✓ It always helps me lift my mood instantly.

“It's always helps”中主语和谓语不一致，应为“It always helps”或“It’s always helpful”。此外动词“help”后可直接接动词原形“lift”。建议：注意主语与动词的一致性并用正确的动词形式。

× I always relieve my stress after listening to the upbeat songs, energetic rhythm and catchy melodies especially for K pop music.

✓ I always relieve my stress after listening to upbeat songs with energetic rhythms and catchy melodies, especially K-pop music.

“the upbeat songs”与后面的修饰不太流畅，且“energetic rhythm”应为复数“rhythms”。“especially for K pop music”不自然，应为“especially K-pop music”。建议：调整修饰词顺序并统一单复数及固定搭配。

× Because I'm the big fans of the Blackpink or BTS famous K pop bands, I enjoy this and their songs and it's relieved by stress.

✓ Because I'm a big fan of BLACKPINK and BTS, famous K-pop bands, I enjoy their songs and they help relieve my stress.

原句中“I'm the big fans”主语与补语不一致且使用定冠词错误，应为“I'm a big fan”。“the Blackpink or BTS”应并列且无需定冠词。最后“it's relieved by stress”语义和语法都错，需改为“they help relieve my stress”。建议：主谓保持一致，使用正确的代词指代并用主动结构表达“减轻压力”。