Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid filler words (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Try to vary vocabulary (e.g. "drained" or "fatigued") and correct small grammar issues ("if I have many classes" not "in and if").

例: I don't often feel tired. It depends on my schedule: if I have many classes and a hectic day I get quite drained, but when I stay at home and have a light routine I usually feel fine.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first and then add specific contexts. Remove fillers like "uh" and improve sentence structure (e.g. "if I have a busy schedule and my day is full of classes"). Mention frequency or examples to make it more concrete.

例: I usually feel tired after a day at university. For example, when I have back-to-back lectures and practicals I feel exhausted and just want to go home and rest; sometimes I also feel tired on weekends if I spend hours doing coursework.

提案: Organise the response: state the main strategy, then explain briefly how it helps, using linking words (e.g. "first", "then", "as a result"). Use correct expressions ("lift my mood" not "lead my mood") and avoid fillers. Add one specific example to sound natural.

例: I usually take a short nap first, and then I watch a movie or listen to music to relax. This helps lift my mood and recharge me, so I feel ready to study or meet friends afterwards.

× If I have a busy schedule and full of classes, I feel exhausted and I want to go home and rest a little.

✓ If I have a busy schedule and am full of classes, I feel exhausted and want to go home and rest a little.

The phrase 'full of classes' needs a verb to link the subject and complement. Use 'am' to form the correct predicate ('be' verb + adjective phrase). Also 'I want to' can be shortened to 'want to' for parallel structure after 'I feel exhausted and'. Keep verbs consistent.

× But weekends if I have UH to do some uh homework, I feel tired then.

✓ But on weekends, if I have homework to do, I feel tired then.

The sentence lacks the preposition 'on' for temporal expression 'on weekends' (preposition error but corrected here as part of structure) and the phrase 'to do some homework' should be reordered to 'homework to do' or 'to do some homework'. The filler 'UH' removed. This yields a natural verb + infinitive structure.

× Generally I take a nap and sleep a little.

✓ Generally I take a nap and sleep a little.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence is acceptable. Included only if identifying present participle usage — here verbs are correct and parallel.

× Then I like to watch movies and listen to music.

✓ Then I like watching movies and listening to music.

Both forms are acceptable ('like to watch' vs 'like watching'), but for natural parallelism with 'take a nap and sleep' earlier, using gerunds 'watching' and 'listening' emphasizes ongoing activities. This is a stylistic suggestion rather than a strict grammatical correction.

× It helps me to recharge and it lead my mood.

✓ It helps me recharge and it lifts my mood.

'Helps me to recharge' is acceptable but 'helps me recharge' is more natural. 'Lead my mood' is incorrect; likely intended 'lift my mood'. Use 'lifts' (third person singular present) to agree with 'it'. This fixes verb choice and subject-verb agreement.

× I feel recharged and uh, better for uh, doing other activities.

✓ I feel recharged and better prepared for doing other activities.

The phrase 'better for doing other activities' is awkward. 'Prepared for doing' clarifies readiness. Remove filler 'uh'. Maintain parallel adjective phrases after 'feel' ('recharged' and 'better prepared').