Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response grammatically correct, more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain why with one or two specific details. Avoid contractions like 'cause' in formal speech and correct verb forms (e.g., 'I do hard work' → 'I do physically demanding work' or 'I work long hours').

例: Yes, I often feel tired. I usually work long, physically demanding hours at my job, so I come home feeling exhausted.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time reference and a coherent reason. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., 'usually', 'because'). Keep it to one or two sentences and avoid unclear phrases like 'these are very tired' or unfinished questions.

例: I usually feel tired after I finish work and get home because I spend the whole day standing and concentrating, which drains my energy.

提案: Organize the sequence clearly and use correct verb forms and linking words. Provide a short, natural routine description (topic sentence + 1–2 supporting actions). Avoid repetition and use cohesive markers like 'first', 'then', 'finally'.

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a quick shower first to relax, then have a light snack and finally go to bed to get some sleep.

× Yes, I often feel tired 'cause I always doing hard work.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired because I am always doing hard work.

The original sentence uses 'always doing' without an auxiliary verb. When expressing continuous actions with adverbs like 'always', use the present continuous with the appropriate form of 'be' + verb-ing (am/is/are + doing). Also replace colloquial 'cause with 'because' for formal grammar. Suggestion: Use 'I am always doing' or 'I always do' depending on whether you mean a repeated habit (I always do hard work) or an ongoing situation (I am always doing hard work).

× After I finish work, when I go back home, yeah, these are very tired. So everything because of what?

✓ After I finish work and go back home, I feel very tired. What is the reason?

The sentence contains a pronoun reference and structure error. 'These are very tired' incorrectly uses plural pronoun 'these' to refer to the speaker; use 'I' and the verb 'feel' for states. 'So everything because of what?' is ungrammatical; use a question form such as 'What is the reason?' or 'What is it because of?'. Suggestion: Keep subject and verb consistent (I + feel) and use a complete question form for asking reasons.

× I go shower and after shower I eat something and then go go to bed.

✓ I take a shower, then I eat something, and then I go to bed.

English uses 'take a shower' or 'have a shower' rather than 'go shower'. Also the original repeats 'go' twice. Maintain parallel structure and simple present tense for habitual actions: 'I take a shower, then I eat...'. Suggestion: Use 'take a shower' and avoid duplicated words; use commas to separate sequence of habitual actions.

× Go to bed and sleep.

✓ I go to bed and sleep.

This fragment lacks an explicit subject. In responses describing personal routines, include the subject 'I' for clarity and grammatical completeness. Using the imperative 'Go to bed' would be appropriate only as a command, not as a description of the student's actions. Suggestion: Use 'I go to bed and sleep.' to describe habitual action.