Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + frequency), avoid unclear phrases ("I'm not an optional"), and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep it under 3–4 sentences and use accurate grammar (e.g., "I'm only human", "if I haven't eaten well").

例: Not often. I'm only human, so I do get tired occasionally. For example, if I've been working long hours or I skip meals, I tend to feel low on energy.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then two specific situations with linking words. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases ("long sits", "mental adjustment"). Use precise vocabulary such as "long shifts", "physical tiredness", "mental fatigue" and explain briefly how each affects you.

例: I usually feel tired after long shifts or when I overthink. For instance, long hours sitting at my desk make my body ache, while persistent worrying causes mental fatigue and makes it hard to concentrate.

提案: Organize the answer by distinguishing mental and physical tiredness with a clear linking phrase ("If it's mental, ... If it's physical, ..."). Use correct collocations (e.g., "mental tiredness", "take a short nap", "eat good food") and give one specific example of an activity and its benefit. Keep language concise and natural.

例: If it's mental tiredness, I try to distract myself by meeting friends or listening to calming music, which helps me relax. If it's physical tiredness, I usually take a short nap or eat a nutritious snack to restore my energy.

× I wouldn't say often but I am also an human being so I'm not an optional.

✓ I wouldn't say often, but I am also a human being, so I'm not optional.

The indefinite article 'an' is used before vowel sounds; 'human' begins with a consonant sound so use 'a human being'. Also 'optional' is incorrect in context; likely 'optional' was misused but corrected to 'not optional' kept—punctuation and commas added for clarity. Suggestion: use 'a' before 'human' and rephrase 'not optional' if you meant 'not perfect' or 'not immune'.

× But if I have overworked myself then yes I do feel tired sometimes and sometimes if I haven't eaten like well I do feel tired at the time it's too.

✓ But if I have overworked myself, then yes, I do feel tired sometimes, and sometimes if I haven't eaten well, I also feel tired at that time.

The phrase 'eaten like well' is incorrect: 'well' should follow 'eaten' without 'like'. 'It's too' is informal and unclear; change to 'I also feel tired at that time'. Added commas for clarity. Suggestion: use 'eaten well' and avoid filler words like 'like'.

× I feel tired most of the times when I overwork as I said earlier, like if I have long sits or if I overthink a lot.

✓ I feel tired most of the time when I overwork, as I said earlier, for example if I have long sitting sessions or if I overthink a lot.

Use 'most of the time' (uncountable time expression), not 'most of the times'. 'Long sits' is nonstandard; replace with 'long sitting sessions' or 'long periods of sitting'. Suggestion: prefer 'most of the time' and more precise nouns for events (e.g., 'sitting sessions').

× I would be OK with the physical tiredness but usually I cannot take anymore with mental adjustment.

✓ I would be OK with physical tiredness, but usually I cannot cope anymore with mental strain.

'Take anymore with mental adjustment' is ungrammatical. Use 'cope' with 'mental strain' or 'mental fatigue'. 'Anymore' with negative contexts is okay, but placement and collocations must be correct. Suggestion: use verbs like 'cope' and nouns like 'strain' or 'fatigue'.

× If it's a mental attraction, then I try my myself, I try to distract myself, I try to meet people or I try to listen to music so that I could relax myself.

✓ If it's mental exhaustion, then I try to distract myself, meet people, or listen to music so that I can relax.

'Mental attraction' is wrong meaning; 'mental exhaustion' or 'mental fatigue' fits. 'Try my myself' is incorrect — remove 'my'. 'Relax myself' is acceptable but more natural to say 'relax'. Use 'can' not 'could' for habitual present actions. Suggestion: choose correct noun ('exhaustion') and simplify reflexive usage ('relax' instead of 'relax myself').

× But if it's a physical adjustment then I love to take a short nap or it good foods.

✓ But if it's physical exhaustion, then I like to take a short nap or eat good food.

'Love to take' is acceptable but 'like to take' matches tone; 'physical adjustment' is wrong—use 'physical exhaustion' or 'physical tiredness'. 'It good foods' is ungrammatical: replace with 'eat good food' or 'have something nutritious to eat'. Suggestion: use correct noun for tiredness and correct verb 'eat' with uncountable 'food' or 'healthy foods' for plural.