Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문법과 시제 일치에 신경 쓰고 문장을 더 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 현재 상황을 말할 때는 현재 시제를 사용하고, 빈도 표현을 좀 더 정확히 하세요. 예를 들어 'nowadays'와 'was'는 어울리지 않습니다. 또한 답변은 간결한 주제 문장 후에 이유를 덧붙이는 구조로 2~3문장으로 표현하면 더 명확합니다.

例: I often feel tired these days because I have to go to university regularly. I attend several long lectures and commute, so I usually feel tired by the evening.

提案: 중복 표현과 이중부정을 피하고 문장을 간결하게 만드세요. 연결어(for example, because, especially)를 사용해 이유를 논리적으로 제시하고, 구체적인 상황을 하나나 두 개만 들면 충분합니다. 또한 발화 중 'um'이나 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요.

例: I usually feel tired when I talk for a long time with my friends or when I study late at night without enough sleep. For example, after a long group discussion or an all-night study session, I feel exhausted the next day.

提案: 동사 선택과 표현을 더 자연스럽게 바꾸고, 행동의 이유나 결과를 한두 문장으로 덧붙여 보세요. 'endure it'는 어색하므로 대신 'try to rest'나 'push through' 같은 표현을 쓰세요. 또한 답변을 두 부분(집 안/외출 시)으로 나누어 명확히 표현하면 좋습니다.

例: When I'm at home and feel tired, I usually lie down or take a short nap to recharge. If I'm outside, I try to rest briefly or drink something caffeinated to help me get through the day.

× It depends on situation, but nowadays I have to go to university, so I was tired in almost every day.

✓ It depends on the situation, but nowadays I have to go to university, so I am tired almost every day.

Two issues: missing definite article before 'situation' (use 'the situation') and incorrect past tense 'was' versus present 'am' because the student describes a current routine. Use 'almost every day' without 'in'. Improve by adding 'the' before singular concrete nouns when specific, and match tense to the time frame (present for current routines).

× Umm, I feel tired when I I talk too much with my friends or study too hard without not enough sleeping like that.

✓ Umm, I feel tired when I talk too much with my friends or study too hard without getting enough sleep.

Errors: duplicated 'I', unnecessary negation 'without not', and incorrect gerund phrase 'not enough sleeping'. Use 'talk' (present simple) for habitual actions, 'getting enough sleep' is the correct expression. Remove duplicate pronoun and avoid double negatives. Use 'get' + noun 'sleep' rather than 'sleeping' here for clarity.

× When I feel tired I just lie down on my bed or when I'm in outside I just endure it.

✓ When I feel tired, I just lie down on my bed; when I'm outside, I just endure it.

Minor errors: missing comma after introductory clause, incorrect preposition 'in outside' should be 'outside'. Also punctuation helps clarity. 'Lie down on my bed' and 'endure it' are fine; add commas and correct preposition.