Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two brief supporting details. Fix grammar (e.g., "at the end of the day", "to solve it"), and use connecting words to link ideas.

例: Yes, I often feel tired. At the end of the day, after doing a lot of work, I usually feel drained, so I take a multivitamin supplement to help restore my energy.

提案: Give a clear time frame and concise reasons with correct grammar. Avoid repeating words and finish the sentence with a complete idea. Use linking words like "because" or "since" to explain reasons.

例: I usually feel tired in the evening after doing homework and other tasks because I currently have several part-time jobs, so I get very exhausted by the end of the day.

提案: Organize the response: start with the main action, then add a secondary action using a linking phrase like "also" or "besides". Use correct phrasing ("take a supplement containing magnesium and vitamins", "meditate or rest") and avoid unclear words like "recitate".

例: When I'm tired, I usually take a supplement that contains magnesium and several vitamins. I also meditate for a few minutes or simply rest and relax to recuperate.

× Yes I do. I often feel tired, especially in the in the end of the day after I do a lot of my work and. And because of that I usually drink a supplement for for solve it.

✓ Yes, I do. I often feel tired, especially at the end of the day after I do a lot of work. Because of that, I usually take a supplement to help with it.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'in the in the end of the day' should be 'at the end of the day' (Incorrect use of prepositions - ID 11); unnecessary definite article 'my work' can be 'work' for general activity (Article errors - ID 22); awkward verb 'drink a supplement for for solve it' is wrong verb choice and structure (Present tense/verb form issues - ID 6 and 8). Correction uses 'take a supplement' and 'to help with it' for a natural present-tense description. Suggestion: use 'at the end of the day' for time expressions, use 'take' with 'supplement', and use an infinitive 'to help' to express purpose.

× I feel tired in the end of the day after after doing my homework and it's very exhausting exhausted since I have many job in in pre at present so that's why I usually.

✓ I feel tired at the end of the day after doing my homework, and it's very exhausting since I have many jobs at present, so that's why I usually get tired.

Errors: wrong preposition 'in the end' should be 'at the end' (Incorrect use of prepositions - ID 11); repeated words 'after after' and 'in in' are redundancy/typos (Sentence structure errors - ID 26); adjective/adverb confusion 'very exhausting exhausted' should be 'very exhausting' to describe the situation or 'I am exhausted' to describe a state (Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs - ID 13); 'many job' should be plural 'many jobs' (Singular and plural issue - ID 1); awkward phrase 'in pre at present' should be 'at present' (Incorrect use of prepositions/article - IDs 11 and 22). The sentence lacked a clear verb at the end; I completed it with 'get tired' to make a full clause (Sentence without a verb/structure - IDs 23 and 26). Suggestions: use 'at the end of the day', keep number agreement, avoid repetition, and choose correct adjective vs. past-participial form.

× When I feel tired I usually consume A supplement that it contains a magnesium and several vitamins.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually take a supplement that contains magnesium and several vitamins.

Errors: 'consume A supplement' is awkward and capital 'A' incorrect (Word choice/capitalization - aspects of Present tense/verb form - ID 6); redundant pronoun 'that it contains' should be 'that contains' (Incorrect use of pronouns/construction - ID 12); 'a magnesium' is wrong because uncountable 'magnesium' does not take 'a' (Article/singular-plural issue - IDs 22 and 1). Correction uses 'take a supplement' and 'contains magnesium' for natural, grammatical present-tense description. Suggestion: use 'take' with supplements and omit 'a' before uncountable minerals.

× Not only that, I usually do some meditation or just recitate.

✓ Not only that, I usually do some meditation or just recite.

Errors: spelling 'recitate' is incorrect; correct verb is 'recite' (Incorrect use of the definite verb form/spelling - ID 26). Also 'Not only that' is conversationally acceptable but ensure parallel structures: 'do some meditation or just recite' is fine. Suggestion: use 'recite' and keep parallel verb forms after 'do'.

× I just don't do anything at all it.

✓ I just don't do anything at all.

Errors: extraneous pronoun 'it' at the end creates an ungrammatical fragment (Sentence structure errors - ID 26). Correction removes the unnecessary word to complete the sentence. Suggestion: avoid adding extra pronouns that do not refer to anything; keep the simple negative structure 'I don't do anything at all'.