Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly explain the reason and what you do to cope. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'a little bit a lot' → 'a bit heavy', 'can't handle with' → 'can't handle') and avoid repetition. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and add a linking word to connect cause and effect.

例: Yes, I have been feeling quite tired recently because my workload has been a bit heavy and hard to manage. Therefore, I try to go home earlier so I can rest and recover.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence then provide a specific example and a linking word to make it coherent. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'messed up room' → 'a messy room', 'it gets me stressed and feel tired' → 'it stresses me and makes me feel tired'). Be specific about situations and explain why they lead to tiredness.

例: I usually feel tired when I can't finish my tasks, particularly household chores. For example, if I come home to a messy room, it stresses me out and makes me feel exhausted because I know there is more work to do.

提案: Start with a direct answer and then give two concise, specific coping strategies with linking words. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., 'listen favorite music' → 'listen to my favorite music', 'get me less stressed' → 'help me relax', 'clearness' → 'tidiness'). Explain briefly why each strategy helps.

例: I usually listen to my favorite music to help me relax and reduce stress. Also, if my room is messy, I tidy it up because a tidy environment improves my mood and helps me think more clearly.

× Recently I often feel tired because my workload is a little bit a lot for me and I can't handle with that recently, but I try to get my home earlier as possible.

✓ Recently I have often felt tired because my workload is a bit too much for me and I can't handle it recently, but I try to get home as early as possible.

The student mixes simple present and present perfect; 'Recently' with a repeated state prefers present perfect ('have often felt'). 'a little bit a lot' is incorrect collocation; use 'a bit too much'. 'Handle with' is wrong; use 'handle it' or 'deal with it'. 'get my home' is incorrect; use 'get home'. 'earlier as possible' should be 'as early as possible'. Suggestion: use present perfect for recent repeated experiences, choose correct collocations, and use correct verb complements and fixed expressions.

× I feel tired whenever I can't do what I should do, especially for household work.

✓ I feel tired whenever I can't do what I should do, especially household chores.

'Especially for household work' is awkward; use 'especially household chores' or 'especially with household work'. The tense is acceptable, but the noun phrase needs correction for natural English. Suggestion: use 'household chores' for common tasks around the home.

× If I see messed up room it gets me stressed and feel tired.

✓ If I see a messy room, it makes me stressed and tired.

Missing article before 'messed up room'—should be 'a messy room'. 'Messed up' as adjective is informal; 'messy' is more natural. 'It gets me stressed and feel tired' mixes verbs; use parallel structure: 'it makes me stressed and tired' or 'it makes me feel stressed and tired'. Suggestion: include the article, use 'messy', and maintain parallel verb structure.

× When I feel tired I always listen favorite music to get me less stressed.

✓ When I feel tired I always listen to my favorite music to feel less stressed.

After 'listen' the preposition 'to' is required: 'listen to music'. 'Favorite music' needs a determiner: 'my favorite music'. 'to get me less stressed' is ungrammatical; use 'to feel less stressed' or 'to help me feel less stressed'. Suggestion: add 'to', include possessive, and use correct infinitive or gerund phrase for purpose.

× And uh, if my room is messed up I try to keep it clean because I think there is a some association between or mindset and the clearness of our room.

✓ If my room is messy, I try to keep it clean because I think there is some association between our mindset and the tidiness of our room.

'And uh' are filler words that can be omitted. 'Messed up' better as 'messy'. 'There is a some' wrongly combines 'a' and 'some'; use 'there is some' or 'there is a'. 'Between or mindset' is a typo; should be 'our mindset'. 'Clearness' is awkward; use 'tidiness'. Also article and preposition choices improved. Suggestion: remove fillers, fix article usage, correct pronoun typo, and use natural collocations like 'tidiness' and 'our mindset'.