Tiredness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and run-on sentences. Focus on correct verb forms (e.g. "sometimes", "a lot of work") and word order.

例: Yes, I often feel tired. Mainly this is because I work a lot at home and study late at night. Also, I sometimes watch films before bed, so I don't sleep well.

提案: Provide a direct topic sentence and one or two specific situations with a linking word. Complete your sentence—don't leave it unfinished. Check plural/singular and use articles (e.g. "a lot of work", "meetings with my friends").

例: I usually feel tired after long periods of work or when I have many social meetings with friends. For example, after a full day of errands followed by evening plans, I feel exhausted.

提案: Answer directly, use correct time expressions and small details. Use linking words to explain purpose (e.g. "so that") and correct plural/number and articles ("for about 20 minutes", "set an alarm").

例: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap for about 20 minutes and set an alarm so that I don't oversleep. This helps me feel refreshed without disturbing my night sleep.

× Yes I feel tired sometime because I have to do lot of work in at my home and study as well in the night time I also watch film so I cannot sleep well so that's why I.

✓ Yes, I feel tired sometimes because I have to do a lot of work at my home and study at night; I also watch films, so I cannot sleep well.

Multiple singular/plural and related article errors: 'sometime' should be plural adverb 'sometimes' (frequency adverb), 'lot of work' needs an article 'a lot of work', 'in at my home' has extraneous preposition 'in', so use 'at my home', 'in the night time' is unnatural; use 'at night', and 'film' should be plural 'films' when speaking generally. Suggestions: use 'sometimes', include 'a' before 'lot', remove incorrect prepositions, use 'at night', and pluralize 'film' when generalizing.

× Yes I feel tired sometime because I have to do lot of work in at my home and study as well in the night time I also watch film so I cannot sleep well so that's why I.

✓ Yes, I feel tired sometimes because I have to do a lot of work at home and study at night; I also watch films, so I cannot sleep well.

Original sentence is run-on and lacks proper punctuation and clause connections. It repeats ideas and ends abruptly with 'so that's why I.' Suggestion: break into shorter clauses, use commas or semicolons, and finish the thought (e.g., 'so that's why I feel tired').

× Uh, I feel tired when I do lot of work and I have a lot of meetings with my friend. That time I feel very tired, so I need to.

✓ Uh, I feel tired when I do a lot of work and when I have many meetings with my friends. At those times I feel very tired, so I need to rest.

Issues include missing article 'a' before 'lot', incorrect singular/plural 'my friend' should be plural 'my friends' if referring to multiple meetings, and sentence ends incomplete 'so I need to.' Also better to use 'at those times' for time reference. Suggestion: add 'a', pluralize where appropriate, complete the sentence with an -ing or base verb like 'to rest'.

× Uh, I feel tired when I do lot of work and I have a lot of meetings with my friend. That time I feel very tired, so I need to.

✓ Uh, I feel tired when I do a lot of work and when I have many meetings with my friends. At those times I feel very tired, so I need to rest.

'Lot' requires an article 'a lot of'; when counting meetings, 'many' is more natural than 'a lot of' with plural countable nouns, and 'my friend' should be plural if there are multiple meetings. Suggestion: use 'a lot of' for noncount or general, 'many' for countable plural, and ensure noun number matches context.

× That time I feel very tired, so I need to.

✓ At that time I feel very tired, so I need to rest.

The clause 'so I need to.' is incomplete and lacks the main verb or an infinitive object. Suggestion: complete the idea by adding the verb or infinitive (e.g., 'to rest' or 'to sleep') so the sentence conveys a full action.

× When I feel tired I usually sleep around 20 minute and I also put alarm to wake me up so I cannot sleep a long time.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually sleep for around 20 minutes, and I also set an alarm to wake me up so I cannot sleep for a long time.

'20 minute' should be plural '20 minutes'. 'Put alarm' is unnatural; use 'set an alarm'. Missing preposition 'for' after 'sleep' when indicating duration. Also add 'for' before 'a long time'. Suggestions: pluralize time units, use 'set an alarm', and include 'for' with durations.