Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 内容の流れは明確で、母親と絵本という具体例もあり、質問にも直接答えられています。ただし、「before sleep」は「before I went to sleep」、「they learn」は過去形の「they learned」、「polite is important」は「politeness is important」または「being polite is important」が自然です。また、「normally」はこの文脈では「usually」のほうが自然です。最後に、絵本から何を学んだのかをもう少し具体的に述べると、より効果的な回答になります。

例: I learned to be polite mainly from my mother. She often read me picture books before I went to sleep, and the main characters were usually rude at first but eventually learned to be polite. As a result, I realized that being polite was important for getting along with other people.

提案: 「Yes, definitely」と意見を明確に示し、礼儀正しさの利点も説明できています。しかし、「less people」は「fewer people」、「are likely to be willing to help you」、「will be willing to help you」、「build good relationships」のように文法と語法を修正する必要があります。また、「But if...」で文を途中で終えず、完全な文にしてください。同じ内容の繰り返しを避け、「because」などで理由を一文にまとめると、より自然で効果的です。

例: Yes, definitely. If you are rude to people, fewer of them are likely to help you. On the other hand, if you show respect and behave politely, people will be more willing to support you. This can also help you build strong relationships with them.

提案: 「特に年上の人や職場の上司に対して」という具体的な場面を挙げている点は良いですが、「in any time anywhere」は「at any time and in any place」、「boss at the work」は「our boss at work」、「by using line」は意味が不明確です。おそらく「using polite language」や「a respectful tone」を意図していると思われます。また、「we should not be rude」と「we should be polite」の重複を減らし、なぜその場面で礼儀が必要なのかを説明すると、内容がより明確になります。

例: We should be polite at all times, but it is especially important when speaking to older people or our boss at work. In these situations, we should use respectful language and listen carefully. This shows that we value their experience and position.

提案: 子どもの頃の具体的な行動として、「丁寧な言葉を使う」「先生に挨拶する」「注意深く聞く」を挙げており、回答の内容は適切です。一方、「the main things ... was using」は「the main things ... were using」または「the main thing ... was using」、「tried to tried to」は重複なので削除してください。また、「listen carefully with the teachers」は「listen carefully to my teachers」、「greet my teachers」のように表現します。最後に、これらの行動の結果を簡潔に述べると、回答のまとまりがよくなります。

例: As a child, I tried to use polite language when speaking to adults. I also greeted my teachers every morning and listened carefully to them in class. I did this because I wanted to show respect and build a good relationship with my teachers.

× She often read me picture books before sleep.

✓ She often read me picture books before going to sleep.

After before, when the subject is understood to be the same as the subject of the main clause, use a gerund phrase: before going to sleep. Before sleep is not the natural grammatical expression here.

× The main character was normally very rude, but eventually they learn how to be polite.

✓ The main character was normally very rude, but eventually they learned how to be polite.

The story is described in the past, so learn must be changed to its past-tense form, learned.

× I picked up the idea that polite is important.

✓ I picked up the idea that being polite is important.

When polite behavior is used as the subject of a sentence, use the gerund phrase being polite. An adjective alone cannot function as the subject in this structure.

× If you were rude to other people, less people likely willing to help you.

✓ If you are rude to other people, fewer people are likely to be willing to help you.

Use fewer with countable plural nouns such as people. Less is normally used with uncountable nouns. Also, people is countable in this context.

× If you were rude to other people, less people likely willing to help you.

✓ If you are rude to other people, fewer people are likely to be willing to help you.

This statement describes a general situation, so use the present tense are rather than the past form were.

× If you were rude to other people, less people likely willing to help you.

✓ If you are rude to other people, fewer people are likely to be willing to help you.

The original sentence is missing the verb are after people and the infinitive marker to before be willing. A complete structure is people are likely to be willing to help you.

× A lot of people will willing to help you.

✓ A lot of people will be willing to help you.

The modal verb will must be followed by the base form of a verb. In this expression, use will be willing, not will willing.

× But if you show your respect to others and behave politely.

✓ But if you show respect to others and behave politely, a lot of people will be willing to help you.

The original sentence begins with the subordinating conjunction if but does not contain a main clause. Add a main clause to complete the sentence.

× We should not be rude in any time anywhere.

✓ We should not be rude at any time or anywhere.

Use at with the expression at any time. Add or to connect the two alternatives at any time and anywhere.

× When we talk to older people or boss at the work.

✓ When we talk to older people or our boss at work.

A singular countable noun such as boss needs a determiner. Our identifies the specific person. The natural expression is at work, without the definite article the.

× When we talk to older people or boss at the work.

✓ When we talk to older people or our boss at work.

The fixed expression is at work, not at the work. English uses at to describe the workplace in this context.

× The main things I tried to do was using polite language.

✓ The main things I tried to do were using polite language.

The subject things is plural, so the verb must be plural: were, not was.

× I tried to tried to greet and listen carefully with the teachers.

✓ I tried to greet the teachers and listen carefully to them.

The phrase tried to is unnecessarily repeated. Remove the duplicate and use parallel verb structures: greet and listen. The revised sentence is also structurally complete.

× I tried to tried to greet and listen carefully with the teachers.

✓ I tried to greet the teachers and listen carefully to them.

The verb listen is followed by the preposition to when referring to the people being listened to. Use listen to them, not listen with the teachers.