Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Avoid repetition, give a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific examples. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct small grammar issues (e.g., “reinforced me” → “reinforced these habits in me”). Keep the answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents, who taught me manners and set a good example. For instance, they always said “please” and “thank you,” and they praised me when I behaved well. Also, my community leaders encouraged respectful behavior at school and church, which reinforced those habits.

提案: Make a clear, natural statement and support it with specific reasons and one short example. Avoid unclear or awkward phrases (e.g., “gives you positive promotion” and “a world that can be ruled”). Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps build good relationships and creates a positive impression. For example, polite behavior can make people more willing to help you at work or school, which can lead to better opportunities.

提案: Start with a direct answer and then give a brief explanation or examples. Your current answer is clear but slightly repetitive; combine ideas and add a concrete example to make it more natural.

例: We should be polite on all occasions, both in public and in private. For example, you should be polite to colleagues at work and also to family members at home, because consistent politeness shows your true character.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence and then list two or three specific behaviors using linking words like “for example” or “also.” Avoid awkward phrasing such as “show off my politeness” and tense inconsistencies (“when I'm asked” → “when I was asked”).

例: As a child, I showed politeness by sharing my toys with friends, avoiding arguments, and helping my parents with chores when I was asked. For example, I often offered snacks to classmates and helped set the table at home, which my parents praised.

× As a child, As a child, I learned how to be polite through my parents because they taught me courtesy.

✓ As a child, I learned how to be polite through my parents because they taught me courtesy.

The sentence repeats 'As a child,' which is a redundancy and creates a sentence structure error (type 26). Remove the duplicate phrase to make the sentence clear and concise. Suggestion: read sentences once after writing to remove accidental repetition.

× They reinforced me.

✓ They reinforced those behaviors in me.

'Reinforced me' is unnatural and incomplete. This is a verb usage issue related to what is being reinforced (type 8). Use a clear object such as 'those behaviors' or 'polite behaviors' or use 'reinforced my manners' to show what was reinforced. Suggestion: specify the object of 'reinforce' or use a different verb like 'encouraged.'

× They used positive reinforcements and also through positive influence in my society.

✓ They used positive reinforcement and positive influence in my community.

This sentence has a structure problem and incorrect preposition/word choice (types 26 and 11). 'Used positive reinforcements and also through' is not parallel and 'in my society' is better expressed as 'in my community.' Correct by using a singular uncountable noun 'positive reinforcement' and making the structure parallel: 'used A and B.' Suggestion: keep parallel structure and prefer 'community' for social environment.

× Yes, being polite is very important because it helps you.

✓ Yes, being polite is very important because it helps you in social situations.

The original is grammatically acceptable but vague; this is a sentence structure/clarity issue (type 26). Adding 'in social situations' clarifies how being polite helps. Suggestion: add context to general statements to make them informative.

× It even gives you positive promotion in a world that can be ruled.

✓ It can even help your advancement in a competitive world.

'Positive promotion' and 'a world that can be ruled' are awkward and unclear (type 26 and 13). Replace with natural collocations: 'help your advancement' and 'competitive world.' Suggestion: use common collocations and avoid literal translations.

× It shows you off.

✓ It reflects well on you.

'Shows you off' has a different meaning (to put someone on display) and is not appropriate here; this is an incorrect verb phrase/pronoun use (types 12 and 13). Use 'reflects well on you' to convey that politeness creates a good impression. Suggestion: choose idioms that match intended meaning.

× We should be polite in every occasion, be it when you are being seen or when you are not being seen.

✓ We should be polite on every occasion, whether we are being seen or not.

Use of preposition and conjunction is incorrect (types 11 and 16). The correct preposition is 'on every occasion' or 'on every occasion' and 'whether' is the appropriate conjunction. Also change 'you are' to consistent 'we are' to match subject. Suggestion: use 'on every occasion' and 'whether' for alternatives.

× We should be polite. We should be polite in every occasion, be it when you are being seen or when you are not being seen.

✓ We should be polite on every occasion, whether we are being seen or not.

The first sentence repeats the idea from the second, creating redundancy and a sentence structure error (type 26). Combine and streamline to avoid repetition. Suggestion: combine short repeated sentences into one clear sentence.

× As a child, what I did to show off my politeness was I shared with my friends.

✓ As a child, to show my politeness I shared with my friends.

'Show off my politeness' implies boasting and is awkward here; also sentence structure is clumsy (type 26 and 13). Use 'to show my politeness' or better 'to show I was polite, I shared with my friends.' Suggestion: avoid 'show off' when meaning 'demonstrate'.

× I was also very obedient to my parents in terms of house chores when I'm asked to do anything.

✓ I was also very obedient to my parents with house chores when I was asked to do anything.

Mixed tense error: 'I was' followed by 'when I'm asked' mixes past and present (type 6 and 5). Use past tense consistently: 'when I was asked.' Also 'in terms of' is wordy; 'with house chores' or 'about household chores' is more natural. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent within the same time frame and use concise phrasing.