Politeness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 需要改进语法、句子连贯性和表达清晰度。回答应直接回应问题，先用一句主题句说明如何学会礼貌，然后用1–2个具体例子支持。注意人称和时态的使用，避免重复和语法错误。可以使用连接词如 “for example” 或 “also” 来组织细节。

例: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. For example, they taught me to greet people who greet me and to say “thank you” when someone holds the door for me. They emphasized these simple habits until they became natural.

提案: 需要更准确的词汇和更清晰的理由。首句直接表明观点，接着给出一到两个具体原因或结果，使用连接词如 “because” 或 “as a result”。避免词汇错误（如“blindness”应为“politeness”或“being polite”）。

例: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it shows respect to other people. As a result, polite behavior often helps build better relationships at work and in daily life.

提案: 回答要更简洁且结构清楚。先给出总括性观点，然后举例说明重要场合和日常生活中的具体情形。避免口头语（umm）和断断续续的句子，用连接词如 “for example” 或 “such as”。

例: We should be polite on all occasions, not just special events. For example, at meetings, at school, at work, and in everyday interactions like shopping or talking to neighbors.

提案: 需要更自然的表达和正确词汇（将“blindness”改为“politeness”或“respect”）。先用一句总述，然后给出具体行为例子，逻辑清楚并使用正确时态（past）。避免重复词语。

例: As a child, I showed politeness by doing simple things taught by my parents. For instance, I often said “please” and “thank you” when asking for help, and I showed respect to older people by greeting them politely.

× Where was a child?

✓ Where was I a child? (or Where was I raised?)

学生想表达“我小时候在哪里长大/是哪个地方的孩子”。原句使用了第三人称疑问词结构“Where was a child?”，把“a child”当主语，且指代不明。应使用第一人称“I”或改为被动/完成体的更自然表达。建议使用“Where was I a child?”（虽然更常见的是 Where was I raised? 或 Where did I grow up?）。 改进建议：使用正确人称（I），或用更自然的表达方式如 Where did I grow up? 或 Where was I raised?。

× My parents always told me that to greet the people that greeting to you and when someone hold the door you need to say thank you to them.

✓ My parents always told me to greet people who greet you, and when someone holds the door, you need to say thank you to them.

原句存在句子结构和动词形式错误：1) 不定式短语和从句混用（"told me that to greet" 不正确，应为 told me to do sth 或 told me that ...）；2) 定语从句结构错误（"people that greeting to you" 应为 who greet you）；3) 动词时态/人称错误（"when someone hold" 应为 holds）。 改进建议：使用正确的动词形式和从句结构：told me to + 动词原形，定语从句用 who/that + 主谓，注意主谓一致。

× Just some simple things that form a polite habit.

✓ Just some simple things that form polite habits. (或 Just some simple actions that form a polite habit.)

形容词/名词搭配问题：原句中 'polite habit' 可数性不一致，且 'that form' 修饰复数 'things' 应与复数或复数名词搭配。应改为 'polite habits' 或改写为 'a polite habit' 并调整主语。 改进建议：注意单复数一致，复数主语对应复数名词或将主语改为单数短语。

× Blindness shows their respect to the other person and also is sometimes give you a better relationship with the others.

✓ Politeness shows respect to the other person and can sometimes give you a better relationship with others.

原句有词汇使用错误和语法问题：1) 用词错误 'Blindness'（失明）应为 'Politeness'（礼貌）；2) 'shows their respect' 中的代词不当，应直接用 'shows respect' 或 'shows one's respect'；3) 语序和动词形态错误（'is sometimes give' 应为 can sometimes give 或 sometimes gives）。 改进建议：注意词汇的准确性，代词的使用要明确，并使用适当的情态动词或动词形式。

× So it's quite important.

✓ So it's quite important.

该句本身语法正确，无需改动。但与前句衔接时注意前句用词正确以保持语义一致。

× I think in all occasions we need to be polite.

✓ I think on all occasions we need to be polite.

介词使用问题：常用固定搭配为 'on occasions' 或 'on all occasions' 表示在所有场合。原句使用 'in all occasions' 不自然。 改进建议：记住固定搭配，多阅读地道用法。

× Umm, politeness shows respect to the other person and it's finally it's become our daily habit.

✓ Umm, politeness shows respect to the other person and finally it becomes our daily habit.

存在词序和词类重复错误：'it's finally it's become' 包含多余的代词和不正确的时态 'become' 形式。应使用 'finally it becomes' 或 'it has finally become' 根据语境选择时态。 改进建议：避免重复主语/代词，注意时态一致性（现在时表习惯可用 present simple）。

× So umm, not only some important occasions like some meeting or at school or at work.

✓ So, umm, not only on important occasions like meetings, school, or work.

句子结构不完整且介词/复数使用错误：1) 'not only' 通常需要与 'but also' 连用，或至少补全句子；2) 'some meeting' 应为 'meetings'；3) 不同名词项需平行结构并使用恰当介词（on）。 改进建议：使用完整结构（not only ... but also ...），保持并列项的形式一致并使用正确介词。

× In our daily life, we always. Need to be applied to the other person.

✓ In our daily life, we always need to be polite to other people.

句子被错误地断开并且结构混乱：'we always. Need to be applied to the other person.' 既无谓语连贯，也使用被动短语不当（'be applied to the other person' 不自然）。应改为主动结构 'need to be polite to other people'。 改进建议：避免断句错误，使用自然的主动语态表达人际行为。

× When was a child I often do some simple things to show my blindness, like often say please and thank you when I ask for help or someone helps me and take good respect to the oldest people.

✓ When I was a child I often did some simple things to show my politeness, like saying please and thank you when I asked for help or when someone helped me, and showing respect to older people.

过去时使用错误和词汇错误：1) 时态应为过去时，主句和从句需一致（do → did；ask → asked）；2) 'When was a child' 人称错误，应为 'When I was a child'；3) 'blindness' 用词错误，应为 'politeness'；4) 动词形式和短语使用不当（'like often say' 应为 'like saying'；'take good respect to the oldest people' 不自然，应为 'showing respect to older people'）。 改进建议：回顾过去时用法，确保主句和从句一致时态；注意常用动名词结构 'like doing'；用正确词汇表达 'politeness/ respect'。

× like often say please and thank you when I ask for help or someone helps me and take good respect to the oldest people.

✓ like often saying 'please' and 'thank you' when I asked for help or when someone helped me, and showing respect to older people.

动词+ -ing 形式使用问题：在列举习惯性动作时，应该使用动名词 'saying' 和 'showing' 来与主句 'I often did' 搭配，而不是不定式或原形动词。并且注意时态一致性（过去时）。 改进建议：使用 like + 动名词结构列举习惯动作；保持主从句时态一致。

× Just some simple things but but my parents always told me to do that.

✓ Just some simple things, but my parents always told me to do that.

句子本身主要问题为重复词 'but but' 和轻微标点问题，并无明显代词错误。删除重复词并用逗号连接更自然。 改进建议：注意口语中避免重复停顿词，写作时删去重复并使用合适标点。